Fullmetal Alchemist and the Parallel World
by royaiblue
Summary: After another transmutation rebounded, Edward is asked by Truth to help the parallel world in exchange for his brother's body. Little does he know the trouble he's getting himself into...the Golden Trio can be quite a handful all on their own, not to mention Harry Potter himself.
1. in which Fullmetal meets Truth again

**New story, yay. Hope you all like this as much as I like writing it. Stick along for the ride, it's a big one (I hope). Don't forget to leave a review!**

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The transmutation was a rebound, just like the human transmutation they had performed so many years before.

Once more, the blonde haired boy screamed as Truth grabbed him forcefully. The black coils were wrapped tightly around him. First they grabbed his neck, almost cutting off his air supply. Then they wrapped themselves tightly around the boy's two flesh arms. Finally they took hold of his automail leg, the one limb that was never returned to him and which served as a reminder of his stupidity many years before, and his flesh leg, rendering Edward unable to escape the creepy bastard. Mentally, he sighed. Knowing it was useless to fight, he allowed Truth to take him to the Gate, to the familiar white space between the two parallel worlds.

To a place that he had never wanted to return again, but you know, Truth _is_ a bigger bastard than the stupid Lame - no, _Flame_ Alchemist - himself.

Once he landed in the white nothingness however, Edward went into his fit of rage.

"How _dare_ you take me _again_ , you fuckin' bastard!" the hotheaded teenager screamed at the top of his lungs. Truth merely grinned as he continued. "What do you want now, you damn stupid thing?" Edward seethed.

"Nothing much," Truth grinned, and Edward could tell by the look on its face that he had something special in store for him. Manipulative bastard. He was almost as bad as the Colonel - no, _Brigadier_ _General_ \- sometimes. "What were you doing?"

Now Edward was baffled by the question. It wasn't like Truth to ask such a thing. Didn't it already know what he was doing? After a few seconds, he muttered a single word. "Al."

"Trying to bring him back so soon, eh?" The corner of Truth's mouth smiled. "Well, mister Alchemist," it said, enunciating every syllable of the word alchemist, "I'll make a deal with you. I will let Alphonse return to your world if, _and only if_ , you choose to do me one small favor. Call it Equivalent Exchange."

"And what might that be?" Edward asked, the corner of his lips curling upward. It wasn't every day Truth asked you to do something in exchange for something (or _someone_ , in Edward's case) in return. "Shall I tap dance for you? Sing? Recite a fluffy poem composed by the General Bastard himself?"

"I would be so inclined for you to kiss this General Bastard," Truth started but stopped as the teenager protested against the idea, " _but_ that's not what I want. You see, mister Alchemist, there is a parallel world similar to the one you reside in now." Taking in the confusion written on Edward's face, it continued. "In this parallel world, they don't use Alchemy for everyday purposes. Hell, Alchemy is considered a damn _dead art_ in their world. Instead, they use magic to get around."

Edward raised his hand up, telling Truth to shut up for a moment. The blonde haired boy breathed in a large amount of air, and sputtered out, "Magic. Doesn't. Exist. Fuck, it goes against all the damn fuckin' laws of science! You can't just make something appear like that!" He snapped his fingers once. "Magic doesn't exist, and you know it, Truth!"

"Yes well, this parallel world _enjoys_ defying all the laws we've set out thus far. However, magic should be the least of your concerns." Truth got up and opened the gate behind it. Edward looked down, seeing a world filled with seemingly dead grass and dirt everywhere. Despite the ugly landscape, Edward swore he could feel the energy radiating off of the surface. "This is the world known as the Wizarding World, the parallel world I was talking about. Here lies a new kind of enemy, Lord Voldemort, a man seeking immortality."

"Let me guess, he wants a Philosopher's Stone," Edward growled at the mention of the name. After years of running around the country looking for the stone - and eventually learning of its contents, the teenager hated nothing more than the blood red stone. It brought too much pain, too much trouble, for the taker and everyone around him.

"Don't interrupt me, mister Alchemist," Truth reprimanded. Edward let out a grunt that sounded like a 'whatever you say, bastard'. Truth pretended not to hear it, though. "Right now, he wants the Philosopher's Stone, believing the stone can restore a body, his own body."

"What happened to his own?" Edward asked in a condescending tone.

"He, well, I'm assuming he lost it when he got defeated by the infant," Truth shrugged.

"He what?" Edward exclaimed, laughing. "He - got - defeated - by - a - baby!" he repeated in between giggles. "That has got to be the greatest thing I've heard since Winry said she was going to be pregnant!"

"Yes well, that is the truth. This Lord Voldemort has been living for the past, say eleven years, in several wizards' bodies, attached to them for life support. I do not know which body he is with right now, but surely you could find out?" Truth revealed a wicked grin on his face.

"And how might I do that? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly one of them." Edward pointed to a cluster of wizards wearing black cloaks. The blonde haired teenager regarded the outfits as gaudy and 'wouldn't wear that in a million years, bastard'. He already could not stand the standard military blues that all members of the military were expected to wear, but this looks a million times worse. Hell, he would much rather wear the navy blue uniform than this horrific cloak!

"Yes, you are. Alchemy is a form of wizarding science, and so you are capable of performing it, not to mention you can also see the Wizarding World. Otherwise I wouldn't have asked you to carry out this job." Truth looked up at the boy, studying his facial emotions.

To no surprise, Truth found the kid's expression quite amusing. His face was scrunched together, trying to make sense of what it was telling him, what it was basically _commanding_ him to believe. Confusion was a part of his mixed emotions, not understanding how Alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange could be bypassed. Surely he might find out, should he choose to accept Truth's offer. It was counting on him to accept the offer, or Amestris's parallel world may collapse.

After a long moment of silence, Edward finally spoke up. "So I can perform this...this hocus pocus abracadabra business." Making a show just for the heck of it, he waved his arms around, pretending to perform magic. Although he looked like he was starting to believe in this nonsense, he also seemed hesitant about what he just said, but Truth couldn't blame the teenager. After all, he just lived what, seventeen years of knowing nothing but science. Magic was simply something so foreign to the boy.

"Yes," Truth responded solemnly. "Your task is to go to the Wizarding World and act as a bodyguard to the Potter boy. No doubt he will be just as reckless and dangerous as you are," it added as an afterthought.

"I am not reckless, nor dangerous!" Edward screamed, flailing his two flesh arms in all directions. The boy stamped his automail foot on ground, much like a two year old when he wanted something and his mother wouldn't give in. The metal limb made a clanking sound as it hit the ground.

Truth smirked, knowing the words have had the intended effect on the young man. Annoying the former State Alchemist was high up on the to-do list. "Of course you aren't," Truth said in a dismissive sort of tone. "The Potter boy is also caring, compassionate, and downright reckless when he chooses to be."

Edward snarled at the remark, eyes narrowing down at the white body of nothingness. "So my job is to be a bodyguard for the Potter boy? What's this got to do with anything? Can't he get his own? Why does it have to be me?" he whined.

Truth laughed. "You ask so many questions, mister Alchemist. I suppose I can give you some answers, but the rest you can learn on your own. First off, yes. If you so choose to accept my offer, you are to be a bodyguard for the Potter boy. He is, after all, the Boy who Lived."

"The _what_?" Edward spat, chortling at the mere name. "I think I like mine better. Hero of the People, much better sounding than - than that name!" Then the blonde teenager fell over in hysterics. The Boy who Lived, what a stupid name! Who even thought of that one?

Truth allowed him a few moments to laugh. "I didn't name the boy. He defeated Lord Voldemort and earned himself the title. His own fault, I guess."

"So you want me to protect the boy who vanquished Lord Moldypants? Alright." Edward crossed his arms. "What next?"

"Have you ever gone undercover before?" Truth inquired, obviously oblivious to the thousands of missions Mustang had sent the alchemist on that were undercover. For all of those missions, Alphonse had to stay behind since he was nothing but a piece of armor. Edward hated those missions because he had to stay away from his brother for a period of time. Luckily, none of them had exceeded a period of two weeks.

"Yeah." Edward shuffled around. "Those missions sucked. Couldn't be with Alphonse for a couple of weeks. Damn General Sparky."

"This mission will have to be undercover as well," Truth said. "You're experienced in that field, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Edward continued to shuffle his feet around aimlessly. "Who am I going as? The bastard? Havoc? Wouldn't mind being him for a whole year, 'cept for the whole smoking thing. I don't do that shit."

"New name, new personality, new everything." Truth closed the Gate to the Wizarding World and opened up a roll of parchment paper. Edward stared at the foreign paper, observing its properties and its uses. "Thinking about alchemy, are you now, mister Alchemist?"

"Maybe. What does it mean to you?" Edward huffed.

"Remember what I proposed. One year at this school, and I will return Alphonse to Amestris," Truth reminded him. "As for your disguise, you shall be going into this world as an Amestrian ambassador to them. Of course, they already are aware of this parallel world, or at least the person that'll be your greatest asset is aware. Now, the real question is, would you rather be teaching Alchemy or learning magic?"

Edward contemplated the question deeply. Both options were ideal in their own manner; it was just a matter of picking the one that would benefit him the most. Instead of answering the question, he asked, "What do I get out of them?"

"Very interesting question, mister Alchemist. Let's see, as an Alchemy professor at Hogwarts - " Truth began, but Edward cut it off quickly.

" _Pigfarts_?" he asked incredulously. The name was hilarious, to say the least. However, the young alchemist did not burst out in laughter as he had done so earlier. "What kind of name is that? Is that like a mental institution for the crazy minded like you?"

"You think so highly of me, Edward Elric," Truth said in a sarcastic manner. In a more serious tone, it rambled on. "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is a prestigious boarding school that teaches witches and wizards alike from the ages of eleven to seventeen, as they hone their magical ability. As many would say, Hogwarts is the safest place out of all the places in the Wizarding World. Nowhere else is safer than Hogwarts."

"Alright, shut up you idiot, before you make a fool out of yourself," Edward said, shaking his head. Truth's change in tone had caught the young man off guard, and he hadn't liked that one bit, nor the speech it had just given. These days, Truth liked to ramble on and on with useless information. It gave Edward and whomever crossed the Gate a massive headache. "Are you gonna tell me about my fuckin' disguise or shall I waltz into this new world and - "

"Now it's your turn to be quiet," Truth responded with a wicked grin. "You're going to Hogwarts and you're going to be an Amestrian ambassador. At the same time, you will also be the new Alchemy professor - "

"I thought I was gonna pick the job I wanted, not you picking for me, you dumb bastard!" Edward yelled.

Honestly, it was a miracle that Brigadier General Mustang, or General Bastard as the boy liked to call him, and his team still had their hearing after working with this hotheaded, stubborn brat after all these years. Truth would have to give them something at this point for tolerating his rants for these long four (or was it five now?) years of being with the State. But of course, the first law of alchemy must be abided. Equivalent Exchange can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

"You took too long. The mission has to start sometime, y'know. I don't have all day to wait for your answer, mister Alchemist. Therefore, you are now the new Alchemy teacher at Hogwarts, as well as the Amestrian ambassador. Of course, no such position exists, so I will forge some documents and make a position."

"You'd do all that paperwork just for one stupid mission?" Edward inquired dubiously. If Truth said yes, then this bastard could be more reliable than the damn Sparky himself. His lips curled into a smile; at least _someone_ around here has a good work ethic, even if it's Truth.

"I'm desperate, okay?" Truth looked away. "I don't want to see these worlds collapse because someone went out of line, or a mission went badly, or…" It trailed off, pondering over the possibilities of something going wrong. "Anyways, I believe that you can do a fine job, and I, er, trust you to not be a stupid, reckless bastard all the time, and well, don't screw up!"

"Yes, yes," Edward dismissed with a flick of his hand. "So, go in, protect Potter boy, pretend to be an ambassador for this world and teach Alchemy to a bunch of kids. That all?"

"For now, yes. Unless the headmaster decides to give you more tasks, I have nothing else for you, mister Alchemist. Tell me now, are you ready to begin your new life?" Truth asked, gesturing to the Gate behind it.

Edward gulped. What else can there really be at this point? He took a moment to think the entire plan over. Will this actually work? Can this Potter kid really be as reckless as Truth says? Edward knew that he was reckless (to a certain extent), but he only did it if there wasn't another way around it (which was most of the time since he got into too many fights without thinking rationally). Finally, he sighed, realizing that there wasn't anything else left to say. Perhaps it is time to just jump in and brace himself for whatever will happen.

Slowly, Edward nodded. "'M ready."

"Good luck, Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist."

Truth opened up its Gate again, allowing itself and Edward to take another peek of Edward's new home for the next year. The young man inhaled deeply, and Truth took the opportunity to push him into the other side of the Gate, into the Wizarding World. After Edward descended out of view, Truth shut the Gate once more, sitting down with a smile upon its face.

"Good luck, Edward Elric," it repeated once more.

No one noticed Alphonse hiding behind Truth's Gate, and no one realized he had heard every single world his brother and Truth had exchanged to one another while they were in the white space.

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 **Please leave a review; all are appreciated. Update: whenever the next chapter gets done.**


	2. in which Fullmetal meets an old man

**Thanks for the great reviews last chapter, hope you guys enjoy this chapter as well! Don't forget to review once you're done!**

 **EDITED: 12/09/15**

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"Is it really that time of day, Alex?" Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry asked the now former Alchemy professor.

At this time of year at the prestigious school called Hogwarts, the summer break has just started. Not only two hours ago, the two professors had seen their students off from the platform outside the castle. After the train had departed, Alex Louis Armstrong handed in his resignation, saying that it was time he returned to Amestris to help fight the homunculi. No doubt the Elric brothers, along with Briggs' men, the Xingese foreigners, and Roy Mustang's team will need his help in this fight. The homunculi were simply too strong to fight by themselves.

"Yes Albus. My world needs me. Fighting civil wars have been occurring since the beginning of our line, and my descendants have passed on the art of fighting through the Armstrong line for generations." Major Armstrong raised his right arm and flexed it for impact, grinning from ear to ear. Sparkles emerged out of nowhere and surrounded the gigantic man. "On a more serious note, do you wish to continue the Alchemy classes?" His smile turned into a frown as he leaned across the desk (and almost chopping off most of the desk at the same time).

"Perhaps it would be best, since I would like to preserve my work area. However it would come as a blow to some of the students, I'm afraid. Several students have expressed their dedication and passion towards the science inclined subject, and I do not wish to disappoint them in their last few years as a student." The Headmaster sighed and summoned Fawkes from his perched area. The phoenix crowed softly as Dumbledore stroke its head gently.

Major Armstrong, the Strong Arm Alchemist, bowed before Albus Dumbledore. "It has been a pleasure to work at Hogwarts, Albus. The art of teaching has been - "

"Descended down the Armstrong line for generations, yes Alex, we know," Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration professor and Gryffindor Head of House, said briskly. Though a tight smile remained her face, she continued. "It has been an honor to work with one of Amestris's finest. We will continue to guard the secret of the parallel world and serve your country as needed."

Major Armstrong wasted no time in wiping the teardrops that dripped from his eyes with his index finger. "What a wonderful speech, m'darling!" Immediately he engulfed the elderly woman in a bear hug, which nearly crushed the poor professor.

"Alex, please, the Portkey is ready to transport you home." Dumbledore kindly interrupted the scene before him, tapping the activated Portkey with his wand. Major Armstrong let go of Professor McGonagall, allowing her to recuperate quickly before he dared to repeat the action. She wondered how on _earth_ the State Military was able to keep him in line sometimes.

The Strong Arm Alchemist grabbed his belongings all in one arm. Looking around the headmaster's office one last time, he bode farewell to now his former coworkers. "It's been an honor to have served here. Best o' luck in the future. Stay safe, and don't die on our watch." For a bit of light humor, Armstrong tapped the State Alchemist watch located in his pocket with his free hand.

Waving goodbye while tearing up, the Major firmly grasped the Portkey, and was whisked off back to his home country. The duo, Dumbledore and McGonagall, could hardly remember a more sentimental departure than this one. Perhaps Alex Louis Armstrong has had quite an effect on the pair, but neither cared to admit it. After a few moments, Professor McGonagall left Dumbledore's office, but not before she wished her boss a good day.

Neither of them noticed the brown book that the Major had left behind accidentally in his old office.

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Edward Elric had simply collided with the soft grassy meadow located on the outskirts of a town. The alchemist groaned as he rolled over to lie on his back, hoping it would be more comfortable in this position rather than laying on his side.

"Where am I?" he asked, unconsciously rubbing his right shoulder. "The stump hurts, guess the rain's coming, eh?" he said, not realizing what he had just said until it hits him a few seconds later. "Shit, _what_?"

Edward quickly got into a standing position and threw off his signature red coat that he wears all the time. Underneath the coat was a black tank top that the blonde usually wears underneath the cloak. He was glad to see that Truth had not altered his clothes as it disposed him in this parallel world - at least Truth had not made an objection to his sense of style. However, Truth had definitely altered something on his body - _again_ \- and this time, it hadn't even bothered to tell him beforehand.

 _I am going to fuck that shithead over and over again_ , Edward thought to himself, angry that Truth had robbed him of his flesh arm for the second time in his life.

All of a sudden, the teenager remembered what exactly had gone down between himself and Truth. Edward quickly looked around, seeing neither vintage armor nor a near replica of his own body.

"Al?" he called out, worried about his younger brother. "Alphonse?" No answer came though. "Alphonse?!" he screamed, searching desperately for his brother. However, there was no reply. No one had replied with the usual 'Nii-san' or 'Big Brother' that Edward was so familiar with.

He took in a deep breath, and started to run down the meadow, hoping to see his brother at the bottom waiting for him. He hurried through a field of daisies, and then a field of some yellow flowers that gleamed like the sun, but had no similarity with his hair color. Then at the bottom of the hill was a pile of concrete (the sidewalk), a pile of asphalt (the road in which the humans here used as a method of transportation), and a pile of green (the grass). Nothing was golden in Surrey, England, and therefore, no Alphonse was in sight.

"Alphonse!" Edward yelled again as he ambled through the streets of Surrey.

Even though the original "mission" was to find his younger sibling, the elder Elric couldn't help but notice his new surroundings. Since the pavement was still slightly wet, Edward noted that it rained often here, and the growing grey sky only proved his theory. The language in the parallel world was not something Edward recognized, but was somewhat close to the Amestrian language. _Guess I'll have to learn a new language, eh_ , he thought.

In the busier parts of Little Whinging, Surrey, where the young alchemist was right now, Edward took careful notes on the shops around him. There were several restaurants, but to his disappointment, he could not try anything of the new food. Groaning at his stomach pain and his inability to find his brother, the golden haired teenager cursed Truth while asking for some pocket change. The damn bastard could be nice and give Edward some food to keep him alive.

After the food situation, he documented the number of engineering shops he came across. Ten of them were related to things called cars, and looking at the "car" Edward had seen in one busy automobile shop, he inferred that cars were the primary mode of transportation around here. It was similar to what he was used to in Amestris, but this world obviously was more advanced than Amestris. Perhaps he could learn a thing or two about these cars and bring the information home to Winry. No doubt the Rockbell automail engineer would want to hear about this.

"Winry," he muttered under his breath, remembering the special long blonde whirlwind in his life. He wouldn't dare admit it, but the Elric did sort of miss his longtime childhood friend. He hoped that she was doing well in Resembool.

Next, Edward saw several flower shops, all that reminded him of his time with the military. The General had always liked to stop by flower stalls on his way to and from work, not to mention the few times he passed by one or two during his lunch break. Sometimes the Flame Alchemist would also buy a bouquet to appease the women that annoyed him on a daily basis. It wasn't limited to that bastard though. Major Jean Havoc, as he was titled now, spent his time with one of the girls who ran one of the stalls. Last time Edward checked, he was planning on asking the girl out on a romantic date. He and the rest of Mustang's team had quietly laughed about the affair when Havoc wasn't looking.

"Bet Mustang would love that rose shop over there," he mumbled under his breath.

A small curl formed on Edward's lips, but he quickly put it away. He wouldn't _dare_ think about that shithead today. No, his former commanding officer does not need to appear in his everyday thoughts. He can appear in his damn office in Central and hopefully do half his share of paperwork (though that's asking a lot of him).

One of the last places that stood out to Edward was the architecture of the shops and townhouses. They were similar to the apartments and dorms in Amestris, but also more advanced and revolutionized, much like the automobiles. The typical platformed style apartment buildings that he was sued to was now more level to the ground and did not use stairs (unless you lived on a floor that wasn't the ground floor). The buildings seemed more spacious and wide open, rather than compacted together in a tight space.

"Seems fairly okay for a small city," Edward said aloud in Amestrian. "Now where in _hell_ am I gonna be lodging?"

Almost immediately after he had said this, there was a loud crackling sound in the air. The noise vibrated in his ears long after the sound had died, and Edward spun around, looking for the source of the sound. To his surprise, a man dressed in royal purple robes with gold embroidery on the sides of the cloth appeared out of nowhere behind him. His grey hair was only illuminated by the sun and the dark clothing material. Edward suspected organic cotton. The man wore half moon spectacles, ones that made him seem wise beyond his years. Edward could make out a hint of mischief and humor in his eyes though.

He scowled. "Where did you come from?" he asked in annoyance.

"Somewhere around here," the stranger replied with a twinkle in his eyes. He looked amused as he caught sight of Edward's untrusting face, but then smiled as Edward's face quickly changed to one of surprise when he realized he was speaking the same language as he was.

Edward frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "Okay then. Who are you, old man?"

"A stray traveller in search of a nearby shop. I'm afraid I'm new around here and don't know my way around Little Whinging yet." His slightly sad face set the mood. However, Edward wasn't fooled easily.

"I'll repeat, who are you, old man?" Edward restated.

The seventeen year old boy was not in the best of moods right now. He was starving (cue the growling stomach) and he had just meandered around the town, which wasn't small in comparison to towns like Youswell and Resembool. Plus, the sun's sweltering heat was finally getting to him now as he dripped with sweat and exhaustion. Yeah, a good thirteen hour nap plus a feast was high on Edward Elric's want list currently.

"I'm afraid that's classified, young man. May I ask your name, however?" the stranger responded as he studied Edward closely. Suddenly his face flashed with recognition, but immediately covered it with a poker face. Edward had caught the change in faces, though.

"What is it, old man?" Edward asked disdainfully.

The stranger tapped his chin with an oddly shaped stick that Edward didn't recognize. It peaked his curiosity, and the young man narrowed his eyes as he took a good look at the object. It was definitely made of wood, but the kind wasn't familiar to him. After all, he wasn't the Wood Alchemist, Reija Olmbeck. The stick seemed to have a core to it, plus something else, something that Edward could not put his finger on…

The older man sighed. "Perhaps...perhaps it'd be best if I take you somewhere, someplace private where we can have a chat."

Edward gave him a questioning face. "Huh?"

He looked at the man, wondering if he was really going to kidnap him. Though he seemed trustworthy, Edward had a sinking feeling that he wasn't at all what he might expect. And as Edward had expected, the man grabbed him by the wrist and quickly Apparated away from Little Whinging, taking the State Alchemist with him.

The sensation of Apparition, at the end of the joyous ride, was definitely vomit inducing, if you ever asked Edward Elric. When he and the stranger arrived in what seems to be a bar, Edward rapidly lost his balance and fell to the hard wooden ground head first. Now with his forehead throbbing in pain, he took a quick look at his new surroundings.

Madam Rosmerta's bar, the Three Broomsticks, reminded Edward of the times he, Alphonse, and Mustang's team had went to Madame Christmas's bar for a night spent in relaxation. Obviously for the adults, that meant the boys drink eight cups of vodka and leave First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye to supervise them. For Edward and Alphonse, since they were underage (and Al lacked a body to get intoxicated in), it meant that they would get to see them drunk and under the influence. Ed definitely got many laughs out of what he's seen on those nights.

However, the Three Broomsticks today was calm and serene. Only two people were there right now, and both of them were dressed in odd clothing similar to the stranger's, drinking away at a caffeinated caramel colored drink with foam bubbling at the top. The elder man helped Edward up from the ground and patted one of the bar stools next to him. He nodded and sat down on the stool.

"I had hoped that Madam Rosmerta's would be cleared up, but I suppose it isn't," he said wistfully. "Rosmerta, one bottle of Firewhiskey and one glass of Butterbeer, m'dear. Pay on my tab, of course."

Edward, for the first time, noticed the lady standing behind the wooden counter, watching the duo. She let out a 'tch', but replied with a nice smile and disappeared to prepare their drinks.

"You can see where we are, is that right?" he asked first.

Edward though it was a strange question to ask, but then remembered what Truth had said to him before. Thoughts ran through his mind instantaneously. Was this strange, abnormal man one of them? Was he in the Wizarding World? If so, where had he been before? Also, what was this place?

"Er, yes," he answered kindly.

"So you can see our world," he murmured, "yes, of course." Then in a lower voice he asked, "Did Truth set you up with this?"

Now Edward was completely and utterly baffled. Stammering, he replied, "H-how do you know t-that?!" Bewildered and somewhat terrified of the man now, he leapt off his stool and was about to break into a run when the old man grabbed him by the wrist rather quickly and tightly.

They Apparated again, this time to a place outside a gigantic castle that made Edward smaller (and shorter) than he really is. In front of him was an entrance gate, and the older man pushed them and allowed them both clearance into the castle. They walked quickly, for it was close to supper time and Edward's stomach was growling as loud as it could, asking for food.

They didn't talk the entire way, except for the occasional sentence or two. Edward mostly spoke about the appearance of the grounds. Sure, the plants around here could use some watering (Professor Sprout should take care of that the day after tomorrow), the chickens could stay in their fenced area some more (since they almost tried to attack the young man), and maybe the weapons hitched in the soil outside appear to be dangerous and should be locked away somewhere first thing tomorrow morning (or sometime on August thirty-first).

As they marched onto the frontal stairs of the castle, the stranger inquired, "Hungry, young man?"

At the word hungry, Edward's stomach lurched, and he grinned. "Very," he replied, a dark grin turning upward in his lips.

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 **Don't forget to leave a review below! Doesn't cost anything too! c:**


	3. in which Fullmetal does some alchemy

**I apologize deeply for the super late update! Last week was a crazy week, what it being Royai Week 2015 and all. By the way, I did some one shots for Royai Week, and they're all available on my profile in my book, _Of Gunfire and Roses_. If you want to check it out, feel free to do so! :)**

 **With that being said, I am now free from obligations - except that college starts tomorrow lolwut. Hopefully I can chug out a chapter or two before summer vacation ends and finals for college begin.**

 **As always, don't forget to review at the very end! I love hearing your thoughts! :)**

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"Welcome back, Major Armstrong," Brigadier General Roy Mustang saluted as the state alchemist teleported into his office on that particular Tuesday morning.

Although he was dizzy from the teleportation, the man quickly regained his composure. "General! How good it is to see you!" Major Alex Louis Armstrong, the Strong Arm Alchemist, engulfed the General into a bear hug, foregoing the usual salute to his superior. Mustang tried not to wince at the pain from the man's massive strength.

"Major, please. Do you have a report?" he asked, once they were released from each other's grasp. The Brigadier General was not affected at all by the lack of the salute from his lower ranking officer.

The Major nodded, holding up a folder. "All right here, sir. Careful notes on the parallel world and everything we need to know about their situation and they know a little something on ours. I hope they consider joining forces with us in the attempt to bring down Father and the rest of the homunculi."

Mustang took the folder from his hands and scanned through the report. His eyes furrowed over several parts, but believed the report was well done, as per usual of Armstrong. "Well done Major. Please stay on standby; there may be a job for us very soon."

The Strong Arm Alchemist saluted his superior. "Okay. Is there anything else, Brigadier General?"

"None. You're dismissed," the Flame Alchemist waved away casually. Armstrong nodded and left his office as quickly as possible. Once he had left, Mustang turned to his trusted subordinate who was standing beside his desk holding his daily morning cup of coffee.

"Hawkeye, run copies of this. I'm about to send a few people to replace the Major for the upcoming year, and he'll need this information to aide him in his time there," he commanded to the sniper, while taking the cup of coffee. Boy, was Mustang tired that morning.

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye nodded grimly, taking the papers from his grasp. "Sir, who do you have in mind?" she asked out of curiosity as she ambled to the office door.

"I am debating on sending Fullmetal and his little brother Alphonse over. I think they'll do a decent job at it, so long as he is cooperative and follows orders. Not to mention keeping Fullmetal's temper under control while he's over there."

Hawkeye chuckled. "Sir, do you really believe he will cooperate and follow orders?"

Mustang smirked. "Not at all."

"How about his temper?"

"Even less than the former," Mustang replied, all of a sudden even more tired than before. He took a sip of the hot coffee and waved the woman away. "Now shoo, Hawkeye, I haven't got time to waste."

Satisfied with the answer, Hawkeye smiled and left the room, leaving her commanding officer alone in the office with the rest of his subordinates.

Neither of them know that earlier that day, Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, had attempted human transmutation once again, in an attempt to bring his brother's body back.

* * *

Edward was impressed, needless to say.

The house elves had really outdone themselves with the feast that laid in front of the golden eyes, according to the stranger. Scrumptious lines of chicken with stir-fry vegetables on the side with white rice to accompany the meal laid in front of him. Edward immediately dug into the food, devouring the rich, savory food like there was no tomorrow. Across from him, Professor Albus Dumbledore sat and picked at his food like a nine year old at the family dinner table. The two of them ate dinner in silence, that is until someone spoke up.

"I do hope you have enjoyed the food," the professor finally said, smiling.

Edward nodded his head in reply, grinning. "Delicious. Almost tastes like home."

"I'm glad you liked it then." Dumbledore gives him a warm smile. "How do you like the castle so far?"

"'Tis alright if you ask me," he commented. "Very massive in size much like our government building back home; hell, it'd probably beat it in size."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in recognition. "I notice that you like to speak of home, indicating that you are not from around here. Of course your native tongue obviously points that out as well. How far away are you from home?"

"Er, not really sure," Edward hesitated. "You mentioned Truth earlier. What's up with that? Pretty sure that not everyone knows about that dumb bastard in the white room that screws everyone's life around one way or another," he growled, as he was clenching his automail fist.

"You might be wrong on that idea, a few people in our world are aware of its existence. Nothing more than that, to our misfortune. Of course, our Alchemy professors are continuously going back and forth through it, from their homeland to here. They, of course, are the ones who have made several trusted people aware of its existence, which whom of course are members of Hogwarts staff only," Dumbledore smoothly replied.

Edward nodded as he took a sip of the apple juice in the goblet. "So these people just know that the thing exists, nothing more?" The headmaster bobbed his head in reply. "It's a jerkwad of a bastard. Manipulative, just like my superior officer."

"I see," Dumbledore responded. "So you have been brought here from your home country, Amestris, to the Wizarding World through the Gate, which Truth has guarded safely. Why?" he asked curiously.

"'Cause," Edward started, "he's a fuckin' conniving, manipulative bastard that does whatever it pleases in his shell of a white room in the middle of fuckin' nowhere and no one fuckin' argues with the little bastard, or otherwise I wouldn't be here right now."

"But you'd probably be making another deal with it, I daresay?" Dumbledore inquired, and Edward nodded. "So the government didn't send you here?"

"What?" Edward said incredulously, his eyes bulging out of their sockets. "There's _no way_ in hell I'd come here because the stupid Fuhrer insisted that I must! I'd rather risk the court martial for insubordination than come here and play magic tricks with you!"

Dumbledore's eyes widened in curiosity. "So you are aware of this place then?"

Edward relaxed the slightest bit. "That goddamn bastard told me pretty much everything about this parallel world. Like with the weird Boy who Got Past Some Dumb Idiot Killer Dude Brandishing a Wand, to the whole thingamajig about a school that teaches weird guys with weird magical skills how to make themselves go poof. It's all true, am I correct?"

The old man nodded again, however a little more amused than before. "So it is. Perhaps we shall formally introduce ourselves then? I am Professor Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." The man bowed out of respect. "And yourself?"

Edward got up and bowed to Professor Dumbledore. He began, "Ma - ", then stopped as the words of Truth echoed inside of his brain. _New name, new personality, new everything_ , it had said. Edward let out a mental groan and reintroduced himself. "Kuzumi Naoyuki of Amestris speaking. Just an ordinary civilian, I guess." He shrugged.

"And do you happen to have any interests? Hobbies? Something of the like?" Professor Dumbledore asked, toying with the chicken on his plate.

"I can do some alchemy." Edward hesitated for a second, then frantically waved his arm, attempting to negate the previous sentence. "I-I mean, it's not like I'm any good at it or anything, I-I just like s-studying the subject, yeah!"

 _That was a close one_ , Edward thought. _I can't have anyone here find out who I really am, or otherwise the stupid dumb Homunculi might come after me and shit on me here! This isn't Amestris, I don't know this place, I could very well easily die here and never hear any short jokes from M-Mustang ever again! Hold on a second, why am I thinking about that bastard?_

"So you like Alchemy, eh?" Dumbledore asked. "I'm curious, what can you do? You're from Amestris, I predict that you are at least capable of some advanced Alchemy, or at least I do hope you are capable of such things." He chuckled at the end, but Edward gave him a look of determination.

"A demonstration, is that what you ask for? Then a demonstration you shall receive!" Smirking, Edward dug into the pockets of his cloak, searching for a white piece of chalk. Finding nothing, he turned to Dumbledore, slightly saddenned. "Now, er uh, old man, do you have any chalk? Guess I lost mine when going through the bastard." He gave him a small smile.

Dumbledore nodded. " _Accio Chalk_ ," he mumbled.

Out of nowhere, a small piece of white chalk zoomed into the Great Hall. Edward watched in half fascination, half wonder, as the chalk appeared into the room with a great amount of speed. Dumbledore stood up to catch the writing utensil and sat down again. He handed the object over to the alchemist.

"What shall you show me today, Kuzumi-san?" he asked kindly, the familiar twinkle in his eye shining more brightly than ever.

"One more question, old man. Can I use one of these tables? I can transmute them back into a table when I'm done."

"Of course. Use any material you need within the walls of the castle. I daresay you'll find everything you need here."

The smirk on his face grew bigger. Edward got up only to sit down again on the hard wooden floor of the Great Hall. Chalk in hand, he drew a perfect transmutation circle on the ground. Stuffing the piece of chalk into his cloak, he got up and dragged one of the Hufflepuff House tables into the middle of the circle.

Almost immediately, Edward dropped to his knees and clapped his hands onto the circle. Electrical blue alchemical light lit up the whole Hall and shone brightly, despite the bright sunlight outside. His golden eyes, fierce and determined as per usual, were deep in concentration until the end of the transmutation. His sweaty palms shaped the table into a gigantic wooden piece that nearly reached the bewitched ceiling. The smirk on his face only grew wider with every passing second of the transmutation.

When Edward finished the shaping of the wooden statue of a bird perched on a branch, he stood up and dusted off the extraneous stuff clinging to his red coat. He waved to Dumbledore. "Yo old man, you satisfied?" His hand reached to his pocket, hoping that the pocket watch was hidden safely inside.

 _No one needs to know who I really am, not here, not anywhere. Only back home, Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, can exist._

"Magnificent work, Kuzumi-san! Or shall I say, Kuzumi- _sensei_ ," Dumbledore clapped with delight. He was obviously pleased with what Edward had done.

Edward's jaw dropped. "W-what?" he asked, shocked.

Dumbledore smiled, and for a second, Edward thought that he had actually gone senile. "Kuzumi Naoyuki, I would like to offer you a position here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In return, you will receive boarding and meals, as well as anything you need to live alongside our folk, until you are able to return to your homeland."

Edward frowned. "I am assuming you want me to teach here?" he asked, just to make sure his ears had heard correctly the first time.

The old man nodded, and Edward's heart fell several feet. Honestly, the last thing he might be capable of was teaching a bunch of wild eleven year olds how to perform alchemy, and he figured it would be a more demanding task than anything he had done. Edward narrowed his eyes, contemplating his options.

 _So, human transmutation again or teach a herd of children how to perform alchemy? I'm probably not as good as Teacher herself, or anywhere close. If I could contact Amestris, I would probably be able to contact her and have her take my spot instead. Unfortunately, I can't._

 _But if I do take this job, I could probably be able to research a way back home, not to mention find an alternative source to the Philosopher's Stone, one without the use of human beings' souls. Who knows if Alphonse ever made it back to Amestris in one piece?_

Edward doodled perfect circles with the fingers on his left hand onto the glove of the automail hand. He quickly realized that there was only one real option, since the other one was taboo in Amestris and he couldn't exactly go back to Truth empty handed. The bastard would probably subject him to the Wizarding World for eternity if that were to happen.

Edward grinned, wider than ever. It resembled the exact same face he had made when he was twelve and received his code name for the first name. _Fullmetal_ , Edward thought, _what a hardcore name_.

"Yeah, I'll take the job, old man. Just as long as I get some time for myself to do some research and explore this world a little bit, I'll do whatever you want," Edward agreed.

Dumbledore and Edward clasped hands and shook the other hand vigorously, each binding the deal they had made. When they released hands, Edward immediately got to work again, creating a circle that would return the wooden bird statue to its former state of a House table. Dumbledore watched in amazement from the sidelines, allowed Edward to carry out his task.

What Edward didn't know that this time, he had an audience watching him from behind the doors of the Great Hall.

* * *

"We already have our new Alchemy professor?" Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall asked the headmaster in disbelief. "That was so quick. I mean, Alex only left a few days ago. We shouldn't have had a new one in so little days."

"Are you quite sure, Albus, that this one is Amestrian?" Professor Severus Snape asked, doubting the young boy. Though Edward wasn't in Dumbledore's office right that moment, the professor was not at all convinced that he was fully Amestrian. "Isn't one of the requirements to becoming an Alchemy professor here at Hogwarts to be a State Alchemist in the Amestrian State Military?"

"Perhaps," Dumbledore said absentmindedly, "but he is obviously skilled at what he does. I doubt any teenage boy would be able to produce such a fine piece like he did."

The Deputy Headmistress frowned. "Is it possible that he is hiding his certification?"

"There is a good possibility he is, actually," Dumbledore said. "However I would refrain from asking him such questions and interrogating him very far. If I were him, I would not flaunt my State Alchemist watch in front of people. It would create far too many enemies."

"Though you could use it to your advantage, but I doubt that ever happens in Amestris," Professor Snape added.

Dumbledore nodded. "Kuzumi-sensei should be a fantastic addition to the staff team, I daresay. Are we all in agreement?"

Professor Snape looked into the eyes of the headmaster coldly. "I would like to see his skills put into great use myself. How do we not know he is a traitor?"

Professor McGonagall stiffened. "Yes, Albus. How do we know if he is working for You-Know-Who or not?"

"Shall I ask to see his left arm to see if the Mark has been brandished on his skin?" Dumbledore asked, but his gaze met Snape's and he realized there was a faster way to know the answer. "Severus, do you recall this person ever being in league with Voldemort?"

"No, sir," Professor Snape replied venomously. "However, he could have switched to the enemy side whenever. Perhaps not in recent years, as the Dark Lord's whereabouts are currently unknown, but before the incident with Potter, yes."

"Then I shall ask him later. For right now, I would like you both to get a good night's rest. We can discuss things in the morning in further detail. I might have more information for you all then," Dumbledore said. He got up from his chair. "I bid you both a good night, Minvera, Severus," he addressed the two professors.

"Good night, Albus," Professor McGonagall answered. She waltzed over to the phoenix, which was sitting on its perch quietly. She stroked the bird's fiery red feathers, earning a soft coo from the bird itself. "Good night, Fawkes." Then she disappeared from the office, a click from the closed door answering a few unspoken questions.

Professor Snape bowed to the headmaster. "Good night, Albus." He, unlike his co-worker, did not send a farewell to Fawkes and swiftly exited the room altogether, making almost no noise at the same time.

Now that Professor Dumbledore was in his office alone, he began to rummage through the thoughts he had accumulated that day. Unbeknownst to his new Alchemy professor and the rest of his staff, Professor Dumbledore had always done a security check on his potential staff members through Occlumency. Though it seemed like a breach of privacy to some people, it ended up being far more rewarding than it should have been.

He found it strange that on this particular person, he could barely get anywhere in Kuzumi Naoyuki's jumbled mess of a mind, nor could he pinpoint anything major in there.

What he didn't know was that Kuzumi Naoyuki, Amestrian name Edward Elric, basically blocked his thoughts from being intercepted by unwanted people, such as Professor Albus Dumbledore himself.

* * *

 **Don't forget to leave a review below! :)**


	4. in which Fullmetal meets a Professor

**Another chapter of this? What? The author didn't take a month this time?** _scorns at the message_ **Yes, I updated. Yes, it is another chapter of this. No, I didn't choose to wait a month. I chose to wait for a holiday. It was kind of bad timing since I have a few papers due soon (** _shoot me now_ **), but you guys are more important. Also, I like writing fanfiction and not research papers.**

 **Also, if there's something that confuses you, please tell me ASAP so that I can fix it immediately. I know someone said that it might have been confused how I worded the third chapter. Basically this happened: Edward is playing the role of Kuzumi in order to conceal his real identity from Dumbledore (who has knowledge of the parallel world) and Kuzumi happened to be an ordinary citizen from Amestris who just knows some basic alchemy. Nothing really special about Kuzumi; Edward is the special pipsqueak that we adore** _*cues the screaming of Edward's rants about him not being short*_

 **As usual, do not forget to read and review at the end! I love reading everyone's reviews, and even though I don't reply, it puts a smile on my face when you guys say you like the chapter! It really pushes me to come out with updates faster, so keep them coming! :-)**

* * *

The first night at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry wasn't anything memorable, according to Edward Elric, code name Kuzumi Naoyuki in the parallel world.

Dumbledore had shown Edward to his new lodgings, which was a small, cramped office with his living quarters right behind it. The alchemist had found the place to be sparkly clean and neat, rather unlike his usual style of everything messy. However, the office reminded him of Mustang's office in Amestris - perhaps it was the royal blue wall paint that did the trick, along with the wooden desk and chair? He decided the place just needed a bit of touch, one that was Edward's style, and then it would be as right as rain.

"This used to be the former Alchemy professor's classroom." Albus Dumbledore showed Edward to his classroom right below his office and living quarters.

He gazed down at the wooden desks and seats, noticing some rather large alchemy marks left behind from the previous years. Edward did a superficial scan of the classroom, mentally noting the size of the room and the possibilities of what he could do in such a large amount of space. He frowned when he saw the extra feather quills in the back of the room next to the stack of extra parchment paper.

 _Investing in some boxes of chalk and lots of wood would be pretty handy to have around in an Alchemy classroom_ , Edward thought. _I'll have to run to the nearest store to get them._

"Yo old man," Edward asked out of the blue, "when can I go shopping for Alchemy related materials?"

Albus frowned. "In a couple weeks, when the Hogwarts staff come altogether again at Diagon Alley. Why do you ask?"

"I need a few items, like chalk and wood," Edward replied. "The feather quills and parchment paper won't do. Having to dip the quill into the ink multiple times just to draw one transmutation circle would be a hassle, not to mention potentially dangerous. And the parchment paper rolls up too quickly. The paper's got to be flat like the surface at least. Wood's pretty sturdy in most cases."

Dumbledore contemplated his argument for a moment or two, then nodded. "I can take you to a store in the Muggle world that might suit your needs, Kuzumi-sensei." Then something hit Dumbledore right there and then in his brilliant mind. "Oh! That reminds me, you don't speak our language, do you?"

Edward let out a soft gasp as he realized what that would mean. "No," he sadly responded. "That might be the bigger problem here."

Dumbledore shook his head, a smile on his face. "Never fear, Kuzumi-sensei. Magic works its wonders when it wants to."

The elder man picked up his wand, a fairly oddly shaped stick according to Edward Elric, and sort of twirled it above his hand. One would acknowledge the movement as one coming out of a fairytale, but Edward took it way more femininely (not that it mattered anyway).

"Make me feel like a fuckin' princess, why don't you," Edward muttered under his breath. Dumbledore pretended not to hear the insult coming out of his mouth.

"Kuzumi-sensei, do you understand what I am saying?" Dumbledore asked in perfect English, rather than the conversational Amestrian that Edward actually understands and is used to.

Edward frowned, not recognizing whatever the headmaster had just said, but somehow in his brain, the gears were whirling. In an instant, the phrase Dumbledore had said became less foreign to him and more understandable, as it sort of translated itself in Edward's mind. A small chuckle popped out of his mouth.

"Whoa," was the first thing that came of his mouth, and in English too. "I - can - speak - your - language," Edward slowly said out loud, wanting to feel the shape of his mouth when he formed the words. "I can speak in Amestrian and English?"

"Only in the privacy of myself and yours, I'm afraid," Dumbledore replied. "Perhaps it isn't best to reveal the secrets of your world to the masses at Hogwarts. No doubt they will pry."

"Like they always do, the nosy buggers," Edward grinned. "But thanks old man, I can finally speak your tongue."

"Again, magic wonders its wonders when it wants to." Dumbledore stopped for a moment. "Is the classroom and office setting sufficient for your needs?" he asked, inspecting the giant bed in the back of Edward's living quarters.

The Alchemy teacher popped his head into the quarters. "The fuck is this bed for? I'm good with a normal sized bed, thank you," Edward scowled at the very large bed that was centered in the room.

"I thought so. I had it magically enlarged for our last professor," Dumbledore said. With a wave of his wand, the bed immediately shrunk to fit Edward's size. "Is that more doable?"

"Of course, thank you again," Edward replied. He leapt onto the bed, rolling over to lay on his backside. "Why the extra enhancements?"

"Our last teacher was a very large man, one that seemed to match the size of our gamekeeper," Dumbledore responded. "Hagrid, our gamekeeper, is a half-giant and prefers to live outside in his hut."

Edward thought it over. A man that knew both alchemy and was basically a giant, the requirements could only fit one person. "You accept Alchemy teachers from Amestris?" he questioned incredulously. This he hadn't known at all.

"Yes, simply because they are skilled in what we are not," Dumbledore said. "Very few wizards in our world are practiced learners in the field, and their power can be useful if used correctly. It could potentially be a - "

"Weapon against Voldemort," Edward finished. "So Major Armstrong was here, then?"

"Alex Louis Armstrong, the Strong Arm Alchemist, indeed was here up until a week ago," he nodded.

 _Well that answered the question of where the idiot was for a year._ "He only taught one year?" Edward asked, eyes wide open.

"He claimed to have some business back in Amestris, maybe a war incoming in the country. I must ask, is it true?" Dumbledore asked, unbeknownst to him that he might be prying into other countries' affairs.

"Maybe," Edward replied, not really wanting to answer the question. Thankfully, Dumbledore took the answer and didn't go any further into the topic. Amestris's problems were not of any concern to the parallel world.

 _And they can stay that way,_ Edward thought.

* * *

"Brigadier General, something's wrong," First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye quickly said.

Newly promoted Brigadier General Roy Mustang frowned, arching an eyebrow in the process. "What is it, Lieutenant?" he asked.

Instead of answering the question right away, the Lieutenant dragged her superior officer out of the hallways in Central Command and threw him into the car, narrowly avoiding the higher ups in the process. She ordered the driver, who happened to be Major Armstrong, to drive somewhere. The Major nodded and hit the gas pedal immediately.

"What is it, Lieutenant?" Mustang asked again, this time more concerned.

"Edward's nowhere to be found," was the first thing she said.

"Where the fuck would he go at this kind of time?" Mustang asked. "He is to be stationed in Central, or at least that was the set of orders I gave him the other day."

"I have no idea, sir. All I know is that the Fullmetal Alchemist has yet to be seen in the last forty eight hours, and he has not given us his report yet on Table City," Hawkeye replied. "Have you seen Alphonse recently?"

"Nope," was Mustang's response.

"Then something fishy is going on here, and we need to investigate," Hawkeye said.

"Start at Fullmetal's military dorm room," Mustang ordered. "Major, go down this street and turn left."

"Got it." Major Armstrong sent the pair a thumbs up as he sped down River Lane and took a sharp left turn onto North Gaston. "Which place?"

"Not this street, we're still getting there," Mustang replied. "Turn right on Cherry Street."

Hawkeye sent him a look. "You know where Edward and Alphonse live? They usually change dorm rooms every month or two due to the amount of people wanting to murder them."

"And I usually assign them their new dorm room close to my mansion," Mustang answered. "They don't know that every time they change places, they just get a little closer to safety."

"Like your mansion is safe, sir." Hawkeye rolled her eyes. "Wasn't there a burglary the other day?"

"And I happened to have sort of barbequed - "

" _What?!_ " Hawkeye shrieked. The car swerved right then as Major Armstrong was half alarmed by the response, half turning right on Carpenter Road.

" - their hair as a punishment. Hawkeye, let me finish my statements before you do anything rash." Now it was Mustang's turn to roll his eyes at his subordinate.

Hawkeye breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you didn't _burn a body_ like you did Ross's."

"That was beautiful, by the way."

"Whatever you say, General."

"We're here, if you two lovebirds haven't noticed."

Mustang and Hawkeye both looked up to see Major Armstrong grinning. The two of them swore they saw pink sparkles coming out of his sparkly white teeth. The pair shrinked back, in case the Major had intentions of stripping (and it wouldn't be the first time either). Mustang pulled out a maroon colored book from his coat pocket and checked the address of the place. Not even two minutes later, he gave the affirmative.

"Second floor, room one hundred two is their place right now," Mustang read aloud from his pocket book, picking up a silver key from the page. "I have a key to their place."

"Maybe you spend a little too much time over there," Hawkeye teased, stifling a laugh spilling from her mouth.

"Or maybe someone else spends too much time at mine," Mustang teased back, smirking. There wasn't any denying written on Hawkeye's face, only red splotches on her cheeks. Mustang's smirk widened at her reaction, which allowed Hawkeye to put a hand near her gun. Her superior officer wiped the smile off his face quickly, thinking that dying today was not a risk he wanted to take today.

Mustang pointed to a window up above the trio. "Now let's go men, before it gets too dark out here."

* * *

Walking into Diagon Alley was not exactly the 'walk in a park' type deal that Edward had been dreaming of.

Edward Elric was strolling through the alley alone on a weekday, which meant that practically no one was around. Dumbledore had claimed to have some important business meeting to attend at the Ministry of Magic, and since the Prime Minister would be there, the old man's attendance was required. Some of the teaching staff who resided at Hogwarts were completely unknown to him, so Edward didn't want to bother them with his dire need to go to Diagon Alley.

Edward chose to find Dumbledore in his office before he left for the Ministry, asking him for a quick path to Diagon Alley. Dumbledore this time gave him Floo Powder and instructed him on how to use the green powder dust. After the old man went to the Ministry through this route, Edward followed shortly, but instead of saying 'Ministry of Magic' like his superior, he said:

"Diagonally."

 _Maybe proper wording would have been useful when using Floo Powder. Not to mention lack of anxiety would've worked as well,_ Edward thought as he left Borgin and Burkes as quickly as he came through the fireplace there.

After departing the Dark Arts store, the boy took a quick left, hopefully heading in the right direction. He had read a sign that told him he was not in Diagon Alley, but Knockturn Alley instead. Walking past several other shops with dark auras, Edward found himself in the middle of a real alley, one with no end and a Dumpster in the back.

"You seem to be mighty lost," a short man, shorter than Edward even, with a black cloak announced proudly. Edward noticed that he wore glasses and had white hair with soft singes at the end. Perhaps he was like a scientist, or at least that would have been him in the Amestrian world.

"Uh, yeah," Edward stuttered. "Mind helping me out?"

"Of course!" the man jumped. He took one of Edward's hands (thank Truth it was the left one) and hurriedly escorted him down a few paths. All of them twisted and turned, until both of them found themselves in a more cheerful, happier place.

"Is this Diagon Alley?" Edward asked, taking mental notes on the shops' appearances and the midget man's facial features.

"Yes it is! How did you end up here?" he asked curiously, looking into Edward's golden eyes out of curiosity.

"Do I not seem like the type of person who would roam here?" Edward asked him. _I really should learn how to better blend in with the people around here before I do any more rash things like this,_ he thought to himself.

The stranger shook his head disdainfully. "That red coat of yours sticks out like a sore thumb, not to mention that hair and eyes like yours are seen as odd in our world. Although I am quite convinced that the eyes are inherited, thanks to years of studying lycanthropy, some people might disagree with me and think you are a werewolf."

"A what wolf?" Edward asked, arching an eyebrow. "I'm not the kind of person who looks wolfish to you, am I right?"

"A werewolf, my dear sir. They're like half wolf, half human in our world. And no, but I'm just saying that some wizards will mistake it for wolfish characteristics," the man said, shrugging. "I'm Filius Flitwick by the way, Charms professor at Hogwarts."

 _Oh shit, this guy's one of them? And I thought I might be able to trust him within due time._ "Kuzumi Naoyuki, sir." Edward shook the professor's hand with his left one, the real hand.

"What a pleasure to meet you, dear sir! I must be off now, lots to do today, toodles!"

And so fast had the tiny midget came into the alley to help Edward did he leave Edward in the middle of chaos in Diagon Alley.

* * *

"Where is Fullmetal? Where is the Fullmetal Alchemist?"

"He's not _dead,_ he can't have died this time around!"

"What in the name of King Bradley is this?"

In front of Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, and Alex Louis Armstrong was the exact same human transmutation circle the Elric brothers had used so long ago when they tried to resurrect their mother. The once beautifully chalked up circle was decorated in red splotches of blood, all of them having dried now since the elder Elric had disappeared only two days ago. Neither armor nor hide of Edward was to be seen in the apartment complex.

What Major Armstrong found five minutes later happened to be the pale and sickly body of Alphonse Elric, who was hiding under the kitchen table, snacking on a piece of bread Edward had bought two days ago, right before he committed the taboo again.

* * *

 **Again, do not forget to review below! I love seeing everyone's reviews, no matter how good or bad (or flaming too).**


	5. in which Alphonse confesses everything

**Oh my gosh, I didn't really think I had it in me to give you guys a chapter longer than 4K words! Consider this a present, I guess?** _we should totally applaud me and give me praise and just kidding please don't - that'll embarrass me real quick_ **but are you ready?** _utapri comment - i might be in love with this anime right now and obsessed over the first season's ending because that was amazing, their debut concert_

 **Just as a side note to you all, but I may come out with one or two (if I'm lucky) more updates before school starts again. When school starts, you'll probably see one chapter a month. I'm sorry too :(**

 **As always, don't forget to read and review at the very end! Thanks everyone for all of the favorites and follows on this fanfiction - never really thought it'd be that successful! Can I have some reviews too please?**

* * *

After spending the day in Diagon Alley, Edward returned to Hogwarts by Side-Along Apparition, carrying a boatload of alchemical related materials and an empty pocket, lacking the normal Galleons and such. Fortunately, Albus Dumbledore went to retrieve the seventeen year old boy, so that he didn't have to experience the whole 'running into a brick wall and looking like a homicidal maniac' in the process of trying to return to Hogwarts.

"Thanks for the change, old man," Edward told Dumbledore, lifting up one of the salt packages. His mouth turned into a smug look, fully aware that he was probably going to end up using the materials before the school year even started.

 _Maybe to spice up my room a little more, give it more flair and fun_ , Edward thought, smirking to himself.

"You are very welcome, Professor Kuzumi." Dumbledore gave Edward one of his serene smiles, but Edward could see that he was thinking more deeply, since his eyes were twinkling like stars in the night sky.

"Eh, it feels weird to call me Professor _anything_ ," Edward said, shrugging his shoulders. "Call me Naoyuki?"

"If you give me your express permission, then I shall call you by such, Naoyuki," Dumbledore replied. "Such an interesting name, I daresay."

" _Un_ , it seems weird." Now Edward was reverting back to his native language. "I guess it's okay, though. It's better than other names, like _Roy_." He put emphasis on his commanding officer's first name, trying not to snicker while doing so.

Okay, so Roy wasn't a _terrible_ name, and it sort of fits the bastard himself (not that any other name like Colonel Bastard or General Sparkykins would fit the man anyways), but in either world, Edward still loved to annoy him in any way he could. Edward was pretty sure if the bastard himself had heard him right that second, he would have exploded (figuratively, of course). Flame Alchemists were pretty explosive, if Edward dare say so in front of his superior officer.

"Perhaps," Dumbledore replied mid-daze.

Edward decided it was best to keep his mouth shut, since the poor old man seemed to be pretty out of it right then. "I guess this is where I bid you a good night then." Edward strolled out of the office door, waving his automail hand to the headmaster.

"Have a good night, Naoyuki," Dumbledore responded. "Be down at breakfast by eight o'clock, I think the rest of the staff are coming in for our summer treat."

Edward raised an eyebrow. He turned around to look at Dumbledore, obviously confused. "What's going on?"

"The annual professorship test and of course, our professor breakfast together as a whole. You need not be at the professorship test since you have already passed it by me, but be present and on time for the breakfast portion, beginning at eight o'clock. I have to introduce you to the rest of my staff and perhaps a few Ministry employees."

"Nothing I should worry about, then?" Edward inquired.

"None whatsoever. You see, I had done a bit of paperwork at the Ministry today to allow you to teach at Hogwarts. They are, of course, now informed of your presence and will allow you to teach at Hogwarts following a demonstration of your alchemical abilities. They have already approved of you, but they simply want to see something to reinforce your ability. No pressure, I hope?" Dumbledore clasped his hands in front of his body.

"Nah, that's fine," Edward waved off. "Guess I'll be down by eight then."

Edward left Dumbledore's office then. Having skipped dinner that day, he decided to have a house elf bring up some food. Though it was most definitely strange that a creature could be enslaved in a school, or at least it was to Edward, he didn't think much of it. He believed that there was a reason that house elves were here, and perhaps they were paid with vacations and money, and maybe they weren't really slaves here at all.

Edward made his way to his living quarters again, the makeshift house behind his upstairs office basically. Flopping onto the bed, Edward stripped off his gloves and red coat, leaving himself in his usual black tank top and pants. He threw off his boots, hearing them hit the closet at the end of the room.

"Well that's going to be a pain in the ass to pick up later," he grumbled. "Tresadale."

Instantly, a crack filled the once silent room. A house elf dressed in a ragged old pillowcase stumbled up to Edward, touching the boy with its hands. Edward had half a mind to slap it, but thought better of it.

"Oi, get your dirty hands off of me," Edward commanded. "And Tresadale, bring me some food please."

Tresadale bowed to its master. "Of course, sire. Whatever you wish."

Another crack filled the room, and this time, the female house elf disappeared. Edward hopped out of bed, ambling to the window. He cracked it open, allowing the smell of misty rain to enter the room.

"Man, I wanted fresh air, not some crap shit," Edward groaned. "Beggers can't be chooser though, so fuck."

He flopped right back onto the bed, creating a thud sound in the process. Edward put his automail hand up in the air, as if he was reaching for something in the air. He made a fist, clenching the nothingness with all his might. A look of determination and eerie calmness crossed his face.

 _I'll come back for you, Al. I promise._

* * *

"Alphonse?" Riza's gentle voice broke the silence between the four men.

The Lieutenant extended her right hand to the frail, skinny boy, hiding underneath the table. His facial features were practically screaming at Riza, telling her that he was obviously scared. Shakily, Al reached for her hand. His grip wasn't as strong as the grip on his armor, but Al clung to the woman as if his life depended on it.

"L-Lieutenant Hawkeye?" Al rasped. "Colonel? Major Armstrong?"

Roy nodded. Riza helped Al to come out from under the table. Surely it must have been dirty, since Edward doesn't really do any cleaning around his own apartment. Once Al was directly underneath the ceiling lights, Roy swiftly picked him up.

"Al, you're as light as a feather," Roy commented. There wasn't much humor apparent in his voice, just truth.

" _Nii-san_ wasn't kidding when he said that my body was still at the Gate," Al replied, sort of lost in his own recollections. "I don't think he said anything about it being in this state," he mused.

"How long have you been without a body, Alphonse?" Riza asked kindly. She motioned Roy to put the sixteen year old boy (now with a human body) on the couch for the time being.

"Mm, since we did the transmutation when I was ten, so six years," Al responded quickly. "Do you think that maybe that has something to do with it?" His face turned into a frown, but his eyes revealed that he was already lost in thought.

"Maybe." Riza tapped her chin. "Men, any ideas?"

"Surely within six years, without the proper nutrition, your body shouldn't be in this good of a state, even if it is malnourished. Your body might have decomposed at the Gate," Roy said, eyebrows furrowed in the middle. "The question is how your body hasn't been broken down."

While Roy and Riza debated on the question a little further, Al turned to the Major, who was sitting on the couch with him. "Major Armstrong, do you mind getting me some water? There's some in the refrigerator if I recall correctly," he asked sweetly, smiling a little.

"Of course! Fetching water has been - "

" - passed down the Armstrong line for generations," Al finished in a bored tone.

Having heard the phrase so many times, Al and his brother had both come to despise the phrase whenever used. The Major paid no attention to the dull sounding tone; rather, he had already dashed off into the kitchen. Al heard the forceful opening of a door and the loud slam for a closing door. Not too long after, Alex Louis Armstrong returned, holding a bottle of water already opened.

"Here you go, a bottle of water - _with sparkles_!"

Al looked up to see Major Armstrong freed of clothing on his upper body and pink sparkles brightening up his features. A startled expression framed his face, as he reeled back, away from the bigger man.

"Er, _arigato_ , Major Armstrong," Al thanked, giving him a light smile. "I'll be fine without the sparkles though." He delicately opened up the bottle and sipped away at the cold liquid.

 _Mm, so this is what water really tastes like. The feeling of cold liquids gushing down your throat like a waterfall, then it hits your tummy and -_

"Al, you and your brother, have your spirits crossed somehow at the Gate?" Roy asked Al abruptly, nearly making the sixteen year old boy choke on water.

He coughed several times, recovering from the near choking hazard. Both Roy and Riza exchanged looks, arching eyebrows at Al the entire time. Major Armstrong grabbed the water bottle from Al's hands, capping it with the lid.

"Are you okay?" Riza asked hesitantly, as if she was fearing something bad might have happened to Al.

He nodded his head, a bright smile now beaming on his face. "Yes, thank you Lieutenant Hawkeye." Al turned to the Colonel next. " _Nii-san_ and I believe so, General. We've mentioned it before in passing."

"Which might have explained why your body is still in a functioning state," Roy finished off. He shut his personal notebook closed, a hard look shooting through his eyes. "I'm sure your muscles have atrophied by now, so we won't risk it. I'll carry you to the car."

"What's the plan, Brigadier General Mustang?" Major Armstrong asked.

"We're going to take Al to Central Hospital so he can get checked up on. No doubt things have happened over six years at the Gate without the proper nutrition and other basic needs, so that'll have to be addressed. Also judging from the evidence we have of Fullmetal's room and its current state, he performed human transmutation again. Where the hell he is, is completely beyond me," Roy stated.

"I'll go prep the car then," the Major replied, saluting his superior. The General saluted in return. Not much later, Armstrong departed the apartment, leaving Roy, Riza, and Al alone in the room.

Alphonse Elric may never admit it, but being in a room alone with Mustang and Hawkeye eased his nerves a lot.

* * *

Dressed in his usual attire, Edward Elric made his way down into the Great Hall three minutes past eight o'clock for the professorship breakfast. It was his usual style to be late for anything, whether it was in Amestris, in Central Command whenever he had to report to Mustang after missions he had completed for him, or in the parallel world, in a place so completely foreign and nerve-wracking for the boy (he wouldn't admit that ever, though).

As he pushed open one of the giant wooden doors, Edward was stopped by a massive lump of flesh standing in front of him. With his short stature, he thought the guy was huge. The hair trickling up and down his body, not to mention all the wrinkles and dirt plastered on his face made him seem downright scary to him.

He backed up a few steps, trying to make some distance between him and the giant, but Hagrid held up a hand.

"Sorry ter scare yeh like that, didn't mean teh do that," Hagrid said kindly, pushing open the door again for him and Edward. "I take it yer the new professor Dumbledore's gonna introduce teh us today?"

"Uh, yeah," Edward replied, scratching his head.

"Just a small hint of advice fer yeh: say yer first name first. Makes it less confusing fer the rest 'of us lads if yeh could do that. The last one had our heads spinnin' fer a while." Hagrid attempted a smile, but obviously failed when his mouth only seemed to stretch lip-wise rather than teeth-wise.

Edward nodded, taking in the advice. He realized that he had introduced himself to Dumbledore in his usual custom of last name then first name, and frowned.

 _Yeah, I'm going to have to fix that right away. It's Naoyuki Kuzumi in this strange world's fashion, I guess. One more thing to add to the list of weird shit in this crazy parallel world_.

"Ah, Hagrid, Kuzumi- _sensei_. How kind of you both to arrive this morning, and in good spirits I hope?" Dumbledore's face, while his usual atmosphere of gentleness, harbored a strange feeling. Edward couldn't put his fingers on it though.

"Good morning to you too," Edward replied, yawning in the process. So he might've stayed up past bedtime to read a few alchemical documents that he had found while going through Flourish and Blotts, but all that aside for now. He covered up the yawn with his automail hand, also covered with his gloves. "God, I'm starving. What's for breakfast?" He refrained from calling Dumbledore old man, for the sake of appearances.

"Bacon and eggs," Hagrid replied.

Edward turned around to look at him, partially in awe about how such normal food could be served at an _abnormal_ school, and partially because it was so...Amestrian like. Hagrid dragged him up to the professors' table, seating him right next to himself. All of a sudden, the once empty plate sitting in front of him magically filled up with delicious food. Now Edward was fully aware of his grumbling stomach, and he began to dig in wholeheartedly at the food.

"Yeh like it?" Hagrid asked, halfway through his meal. By then, Edward had already gone through two plates of breakfast.

"It's scrumptious. I can't remember the last time I had something this good," he answered, a twinkle flashing through his golden eyes. "This makes me miss Granny and Winry's cooking alright," he mumbled to himself. The twinkle in his eyes dimmed, just like how his bright golden eyes went to dull and shady.

"The house elves probably worked their arses off this morning," Hagrid said aloud to no one in particular. "They produce good food though, so I ain't complainin'."

Edward idly watched as Dumbledore walked over to his seat at the center of the table. He rose his goblet, full of pumpkin juice, and everyone followed in suit. Edward, of course, didn't want to be left behind in the celebrations, so he joined in as he raised his goblet along with the rest of the professors.

"To a new school year!" Dumbledore announced cheerfully.

"To a new school year!" everyone, including Edward and Hagrid, repeated.

Dumbledore was the first to drink the contents of the goblet. Of course, everyone followed suit. Edward took a little sip of the strange orange liquid, and almost spat it back out into the cup.

"And you guys can drink this stuff?" Edward's eyes widened at the thought of drinking said disgusting liquid. A series of no's ran through his head.

 _How to fix this problem, gah, can alchemy fix this? Oh, fuck it, let's do it; I don't give a shit any more. I already look stupid enough anyways._

A flash of blue light suddenly appeared right after Edward clapped his hands around the goblet. The light shot right through the pumpkin juice, swirling around in the goblet aimlessly until the light shot right back out of the goblet. The liquid changed its color to a more transparent yellowish brown color. He took his hands off the goblet, only to have his automail hand pick up the cup and down the liquid went into his mouth.

"I can tolerate apple juice more than pumpkin juice, you know," Edward waved off when he realized he caught the attention of everyone in the room. Most of them were gawking at the transmutation, but only Dumbledore seemed to be relaxed. Maybe it was because he had already seen his abilities as an alchemist.

"That was amazing," came the voice of one professor after the initial shock and silence. His voice spoke the awe and wonder that he had felt throughout the transmutation. Everyone nodded, repeating words similar to what he had said.

"Can you do that again?" someone else asked, this time a woman.

Edward nodded. "Want me to alter your drink to apple juice too?"

The woman shook her head. "If you could kindly change the scrambled eggs to an omelet, please. I much prefer them over scrambled eggs any day." She smiled as she handed her plate over to Edward.

"Uh yeah, sure." Clapping his hands again, Edward transmuted the pile of untouched scrambled eggs into an omelet.

"Thank you…?"

"Naoyuki Kuzumi." Edward gave them all a fake smile. "That's first name last name order, by the way. I heard you guys were more familiar with that form rather than our usual style."

"You're that boy I met in Diagon Alley the other day!" the short professor named Filius Flitwick exclaimed, standing up in his seat. "I thought you looked familiar!"

"Oh, Professor Flitwick, didn't see you there," Edward scratched the back of his neck as his brain fumbled around a little bit to make up an apology. "Sorry."

"It's fine, it's fine," the professor waved off. "You didn't say that you were employed here at Hogwarts, though!"

Edward shrugged. "I didn't think it was that important to say at the time."

All of a sudden, the clamor in the room rose up several more decibels as everyone threw out questions at Edward as quickly as they could. Edward tried to answer some of their questions, but with every answer came ten more questions. He didn't think the sea of them would stop.

Dumbledore raised a hand, and the talking immediately died down. "I had hopes of introducing him properly to you all, but I suppose that is now out of the window. Naoyuki, if you could stand please." Edward stood up as per request of his headmaster. "This is, again, Professor Naoyuki Kuzumi, and he shall be teaching Alchemy as Professor Armstrong's successor."

"No Amestrians this year?" an elderly woman asked. Edward swore he saw her face fall at that.

"I'm Amestrian, thank you very much," Edward announced loudly to the professors inside of the room. All eyes turned back to him when he said this.

"Well that was quick," the same old woman replied. "Albus, don't they normally come by in September with the rest of the students?"

"Naoyuki is an exception to this case. His commanding officer has ordered him to stand guard here while you all are taking your vacations," Dumbledore smoothly lied. Edward had the notion to drop his jaw, but decided against it.

"Yeah, Mustang sent me here as a alchemist not only skilled in many fields of alchemy, but as one capable of fighting as well," Edward supplemented, backing up Dumbledore.

 _That git better back me up too, if he finds out about this anytime soon._

* * *

"What do you know about this, Alphonse?" Roy asked calmly, no doubt trying to hide the rage stirring inside of him right now. "Tell me everything, every single detail about this."

Al placed his finger on his chin, remembering the events leading up to this. " _Nii-san_ came home one day, carrying several books. If you look in the bedroom now, they're all placed on the bed, untouched. I prepared dinner that night; the remainder of the Xingese stir fry is in the fridge cooling. He ate his usual share, two plates full. About an hour later, after he had taken his shower and cleaned his automail, he summoned me to his room.

He exclaimed to me, "Al, I think I've figured out the answer we've been looking for."

Of course, I was worried. I mean, we've searched for six years for the way back to our bodies, and he found it in a book. What surprised me was that it was the same book we used when we were eleven and ten, the one that taught us human transmutation. I didn't think the answer was in there. But he claimed it was, so I believed him.

I asked him what the price would be this time. He told me not to worry about it, and that it'll be over before we knew it. His limbs would return from the other side of the Gate, along with my actual human body.

 _Nii-san_ ordered me to stand in the middle of the circle, the exact same circle we used six years ago. Now this seemed fishy to me. I couldn't be the price...right? I didn't think my brother would use me to atone for his sins.

Next thing I knew, he had clapped his hands, and I saw him in the middle of the circle as well, right next to me. I screamed at him, asking if this was a suicide mission or not. But he merely shook his head, smiling at the same time. He was prepared to see my body come out of the Gate."

Al took a moment to breathe. He hadn't realized exactly that losing six years of his life in a human body meant that he wouldn't have the same amount of air pressure as other sixteen year old boys. At the same time, Roy and Riza's eyes were widened, mouths slightly opened. Al found it cute that they mimicked each other, though he never voiced his opinion.

"We found ourselves at the Gate again. Truth was still there, its smile mocking us once again. But as soon as I found myself at the Gate again, my soul bound itself right to my human body. Through my own eyes I watched my armor dissipate into thin air. Meanwhile I could hear voices, one sort of in a rage at the other one, who seemed like he was make a fool out of him. I knew it was _Nii-san_ and Truth, battling each other.

I heard the entire conversation. I realized that he had chosen to go to a parallel world, where alchemy was only a myth and magic there is stronger than ever, in exchange for my human body and soul to return to Amestris in one piece. I tried to stop him when I saw him, but at that very moment, Truth sent my brother away. Now Nii-san is trapped on the other side, forcing himself to protect a boy being chased around by his enemies. In order to do such a thing, he has to be an Amestrian ambassador and go undercover."

"So Edward's on the other side, probably at Hogwarts," Riza summarized. "If we're lucky…"

"Yeah," Roy said, realizing what it might have meant. "Fullmetal might have been chosen already, which is why the school hasn't sent a letter yet asking for an Alchemy professor for the new academic year. The only standing problem now is the information we have. We need that to be sent over to him, and as soon as possible."

Al coughed, grabbing the attention of both of the soldiers. "You're not going to court-martial us, are you, General?"

Roy shook his head. "Nonsense. I kept your secret now for six years. You have your bodies back now, which means that no one will ever find out that you performed the taboo and survived. I doubt they'll recognize you, Alphonse."

Al sighed in relief. "Thank you, General, Lieutenant."

Riza walked over to Al, stroking his now long, golden hair. "We're always here for you both, you know."

Roy flipped open his pocket watch, checking the time. "Let's get a move on. Al, I'll keep the keys to the apartment right now, so that nothing falls into the wrong hands. Whatever important things you have here, tell me now so that I can get it transported to my place by tonight. I doubt either of you will be coming back here anytime soon, if ever."

"Just return the books _Nii-san_ left on the bed, and eat the leftover food in the kitchen," Al replied. "I think that's all. I'm pretty sure _Nii-san_ took his pocket watch and anything that might hold significance to him."

Roy nodded. "Alright. Let's get you to the hospital so that you can get checked up on."

The three of them departed the apartment, with Riza locking up the place. Roy carried Al as they descended down to ground zero, and then into the military car.

Somewhere nearby them, a green lizard skulked around the apartment building complex, watching their every move. It smirked to itself, as it hustled down an open manhole, trying to find its 'family'.

* * *

 **Alright, gender confused palm tree weirdo, come out, come out, wherever you are! Don't forget to review below, even if you're signed in as a guest!**


	6. in which Fullmetal goes on an adventure

**I am super sorry for this late update! I had originally hoped that I would get this out in time before school started...and now here we are, four weeks into the school year (actually, maybe five now, teehee). Anyways, I really really really (yes, three of them) hope that this sort of makes up for it** _crossing my fingers man_ **but hopefully, I will have another one out by the end of October? I'LL DO IT RIGHT THIS TIME!**

 **Again, please do not forget to read and review! Also thank you all so much for over 100 follows on this fanfiction! Much love for you all!**

* * *

"The other side of the Gate, huh?" he mused, rubbing his chin at the same time. The man's eyes glistened brightly at the thought, and he quickly formulated a few ideas on how he could proceed from here.

"Yes, Father," the teenager replied, flicking a piece of his hair out of his line of vision.

"Keep an eye on Mustang and his crew, Envy, and I want daily reports of them, including the kid. He might be a candidate, you know." The man named Father chuckled to himself, his eyes gleaming in the sunlight outside.

* * *

Thankfully the rest of the professorship breakfast passed without too many more disruptions. Edward wasn't sure if he could make it through it without people finding out certain things that they shouldn't.

He returned to his dormitory in the back of his office, almost ready to pass out on the bed at first glance. Alchemical transmutations kind of wear him out of energy, and since Edward had lacked sleep from the nights before, the energy had quickly diminished into almost nothing. Only sheer will got him through the end of the breakfast.

"That was way too much excitement for them for one day," Edward muttered, collapsing on the bed. Gazing into the ceiling, he took out his silver pocket watch, the mark of a dog of the military back in Amestris. "Fuck. Wish I was back home right now, with Al and the bastard."

Edward took a good look at his surroundings. He had chosen to decorate the place with Amestrian everything, because deep down inside, he really missed his home, where the people he trusted the most were. His second family was on the other side of the Gate, probably wondering where the fuck he was right now, and he doesn't even know where to start.

"Wish I could talk to them," Edward sighed sentimentally.

There was a knock on the door, one kind and almost friendly to Edward. Edward let out a gruff as he stumbled to get up and open the door for the man outside his door.

 _Thank God I'm still wearing my gloves and boots_ , he thought to himself, checking himself over to make sure his automail was carefully hidden under the guise.

"Morning," Edward grumbled. Sure, it was ten o'clock, and the professorship breakfast had ended about thirty minutes ago, but hell, Edward was not in the mood right then to do anything. "What do you want?"

"Ah, Naoyuki. It's a pleasant day, isn't it?" Albus gave him a warm smile.

Edward rubbed his hair. "Er, yes. Definitely splendid outside. The weather looks absolutely amazing," he replied. It wasn't meant to be sarcastic, but it sure came out that way.

A sharp twinge of pain shot down Edward's shoulder, and he had to force himself to not squeak in pain. Using his automail hand, and fully aware that it wasn't as comforting as when his actual left hand did the job, Edward rubbed the sore spot, right where automail and flesh met.

 _Fuck you too, rain_ , Edward grumbled mentally. _I didn't need you today. Fuck you, England. Must you be such a rainy state?_

"Now Naoyuki, I have a question for you from the Ministry of Magic. They would like to know if you would be willing to serve as the current Amestrian ambassador while you are staying here. Their former ambassador mysteriously died the other night, most likely in the hands of Devil's Snare. Would you be apt to the job?" Dumbledore asked.

Still rubbing the sore spot, Edward answered him quickly, "Does the job entail anything?"

"As far as I am aware, the only task you have to do is participate in anything that concerns both Amestris and the Wizarding World," Dumbledore replied. "Therefore, you would only need transportation to and from the Ministry in those cases."

Edward shrugged, deciding his answer. "Doesn't sound terrible. I guess I'll take it."

Albus Dumbledore smiled. He patted the top of Edward's head as he said, "Thank you, Naoyuki. I shall inform Cornelius right away."

Edward frowned for a second, wondering who this strange man was. "Cornelius?"

"Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic here," Dumbledore explained. "Much like the Fuhrer in Amestris, I suppose you could say."

Edward slowly nodded, now fully understanding who this Cornelius person was. "Oh, okay."

Dumbledore took a good look at Edward. Watching his movements, Edward could tell that he had noticed him rubbing something. "Are you okay, Naoyuki- _san_?" Concern filled his voice, and Ed could tell that if he doesn't do something soon, he will screw himself over into the next century.

So why not focus on the dumb honorific that Dumbledore tacked onto his fake name?

"Alright, listen up old man." So much for respect. "Drop the suffixes. I hate them. I don't want to be called a senior or anything like that. I'm just Naoyuki Kuzumi to you, and that's that. Is it clear now?"

"As clear as day," Dumbledore smiled. "Not today in particular, but perhaps a more sunnier, less cloudy, gloomy day."

Edward chose not to remark on the following statements. After all, a debate was pretty low on Edward's to-do list - not that one exists, of course.

"Well, good day, Naoyuki. Inform me of anything you desire, and I shall arrange accommodations as necessary." With a final wave, Dumbledore spun around on his feet and departed from the room. Edward rolled his eyes, picking a spot in the well decorated room to gaze upon.

"Yes, yes," Edward sighed after him, not really caring at the moment. He shut the door after he heard the headmaster's footsteps descending down the stairs leading to his office, locking it up as well to ensure privacy.

Immediately, Edward ripped off his red coat, revealing his automail. He took off his gloves and threw them, along with the coat, onto the bed. Edward walked over to the tall mirror, seething at the reddening area around where the automail and flesh met. Yes, the rain definitely had something to do with this.

"Wish Al was here to help me," Edward grunted, taking his flesh arm and rubbing the sore spot.

As he rubbed the sore areas in circular motions, Edward took another glance around the room. After closing the window curtains - god, how were they even open in the first place? - he kicked off his boots and stripped himself of his trousers. Now reduced to only a tank top and boxers, he not only felt a little more free, but he could also observe his left leg.

"Shit," Edward cursed when he saw the darker red spots around where his automail left leg and flesh met. He hadn't noticed the pain flaring through his leg while he was dealing with Dumbledore. Now that there wasn't much of a distraction from the pain anymore, it was coming back at full speed.

The only question bouncing back and forth in Ed's mind was: _How the hell am I supposed to relieve myself of the pain?_

* * *

"Alphonse, how do you feel?" Lieutenant Hawkeye asked the younger Elric.

"Much better than before. It feels weird to be able to have all of my senses back, and I'm still adjusting to it again." Alphonse sipped some of his milk. "Sometimes the things we take for granted can disappear within a moment's notice. I think my time in the armor taught me that I can't take this life, or anything, for granted. They can be lost at any time in our lives, and we would have to move on without it."

The Lieutenant smiled, proud of how much wiser the boy has gotten since she had first met him six years ago. She patted Alphonse's head, just now checking out how long his hair has become. "Do you plan on cutting your hair?" she wondered aloud, not really giving much of a thought to the question.

"Yes," was Alphonse's answer. "I don't think the long hair really suits me as much as it does on _Nii-san_. Also, I think the shorter hair will be more manageable, especially with the recent events. If we're looking at what we think we are, then I think it's best if I just chopped off the hair and donate it to someone who needs it more than I do." Even in a time like now, Alphonse is always thinking about someone else.

"I can cut it if you'd like," she offered. "The decision is up to you."

"Thank you, Lieutenant," Alphonse replied. "If you want to cut it yourself, you may. I don't believe anyone else could do the job as well as you can, even if you;d never cut mine or Brother's hair."

"Your brother has never consented to have his hair cut as of yet," she laughed. "At least by myself or anyone else in our team. Has his hair not been cut since…" She trailed off, unsure of how to complete the statement.

"Since our time in Resembool? Yes," Alphonse finished. "I've always been given the task of braiding his hair when it got to a certain length. Now that I think about it, I believe I've been doing this since around the time of the automail surgery and rehabilitation. _Nii-san_ was in too much pain at the time to even think about cutting his hair."

The Lieutenant watched as Alphonse smiled over the fond memory. "I will drop by after hours and trim your hair then." She checked her watch, just now noticing the time. "I better go and pick up the General and head back over to the command center. Goodbye, Alphonse," she waved.

"See you later, Lieutenant," Alphonse cheerily waved back.

"How is he?" Roy Mustang asked once he stepped inside the military car.

"He's doing pretty well, according to his primary doctor. His rehabilitation is progressing along nicely," Riza answered from the driver's seat. Once the General had shut the passenger door, she drove off, towards Central Command. "How was lunch?"

Roy dangled a plastic bag, filled with leftover food from the local Aerugian fast food place, over her head. "I picked up something for you."

"Thank you, sir," Riza replied as her stomach growled. "I'm in a dire need of food, so my stomach says."

"Always here to save the day," Roy winked at his Lieutenant. He tapped his mug of coffee twice. "I ran into Emily today."

"How was your reunion with her?" Riza asked, obviously knowing that the meeting did not go very well.

"Poor, on the regular bathroom scale. Too clingy and easy to read, as usual. Nevaeh was with her too," Roy sighed. "She was a royal pain in the ass as well. Tried to seduce me a couple times, all of which failed miserably."

Even if Riza was slightly interested in the affair on the inside, she certainly didn't show her emotions on the outside. "Val, Nevaeh's sister...how is she doing?"

"Did you forget about her passing away a couple years back?" Roy inquired, narrowing his eyes. "Lieutenant, it isn't like you to forget."

"I apologize, sir. Keep going," Riza replied. "But perhaps in the safety of your office," she added, motioning that the two of them had indeed reached their intended destination. "There are other matters in which we need to catch up on, such as the one with Yasmin Youswell."

"Yes, Lieutenant," Roy answered, stepping out of the military car. "My office in ten. Don't be late."

As Roy marched up the building's stairs, he noticed his subordinate saluting him out of the corner of his eye, standing motionless by the military car.

* * *

The storm eventually stopped after a couple hours, allowing the cloudy sky to once again be brightened up with the fresh air and sunshine available to England. Outside, a couple of owls soared in the sky as the branches on the Whomping Willow rustled in the wind. The air smelled more refreshed than ever after the storm, like Mother Nature settling her essence in the atmosphere.

Ed rose from the bed, stretching out his muscles. Though his stumps remained sore, they felt okay enough to be stretched, or at least they were in Ed's point of view. After performing a few shoulder stretches, he put on his usual clothes again. After all, the clock was ticking closer to five o'clock, which meant supper was going to be served in approximately an hour.

"Time to do something productive today," Edward said out loud as he threw on his red coat.

Key pocketed away, Ed left his quarters, locking the door shut behind him. Deciding that it would a good idea to meander around the castle to be better accustomed with the place, he went down to the Great Hall, figuring it would be a good place to start. After all, adventures start with a familiar destination, where one can find their location quickly and easily.

Ed, after reaching the Great Hall, ran into a short, chubby woman carrying an odd looking plant in her hands. The two of them bumped into each other, quite literally, though no one, including the plant, was hurt.

"Sorry!" the woman squeaked. "Naoyuki, was it?" she asked, taking a good look at Edward.

"Yeah," Ed replied, putting on a sheepish look. His eyes were more distracted by the plant than the woman though, as he studied the plant carefully. "What is that, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh, this?" Professor Sprout tapped the pot of the mystery plant. "This is nettle, widely used in potions, like the Boil-Cure Potion. It can also be dried, and the marking on the side of the pot indicates what the intent is for this specific plant."

"So the black marking means what exactly?" Ed crossed his arms, paying careful attention to his colleague.

"This plant'll be harvested soon, since it's nearly ripe. The black marking means it'll be stored in a jar in a dark area of greenhouse number four, and it'll remain there until the nettle has fully dried up," the professor explained. "Then I'll send it to Professor Snape, where he will use the ingredient in a potion or two."

"Safe to touch, or not?"

The professor shook her head. "It'll sting you faster than a bee will." As Ed nodded, deciding that he can touch it at a later date, Sprout offered him something. "Say if you're interested, why don't you come over to the greenhouses after suppertime? I know you Amestrians don't know much about this sort of thing. I can teach you a couple things."

Ed thought about the offer for a second. "Sure, why not?"he answered in kind, shrugging off anything he might have to do that night, like actually cleaning his automail.

 _With luck, Winry won't notice that it's not as shiny as before_ , he thought.

Professor Sprout beamed, as if it was a major accomplishment in her eyes. "Then I'll see you 'round seven thirty!" She hurried off afterwards, toddling happily along the way. As she made her way out of sight, Ed let out a moan that he had been holding back.

"How much longer do I have to not be rude?" he groaned, as he jogged left. Since he had only shaved off only ten minutes, there was still plenty of time to run around. Ed just might not hit a particular place.

The first place Ed found was the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, taught by Professor Quirinus Quirrell this academic year. Though the man was away for the rest of the month, he couldn't go inside the classroom, but looking through the dirty windows was good enough for Ed (although there might've been some disgust added).

"Books in the corner, clean chalkboard, lots of room for both seats and actual practice, seems okay," Ed said to himself. "Just got to figure out a system that works for me and my room."

Not really finding anything worth noting in his classroom other than the arrangement of things, he moved on down the corridor. Ed noted some rooms that held some interest, like the Care of Magical Creatures room, but most of them were just as bland as the first.

As the seventeen year old boy was standing outside of the Transfiguration classroom, unsure whether or not it was a safe zone or not, a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"What brings you here, Professor Kuzumi?" Professor McGonagall inquired, frowning.

 _Not good, not good_ , Ed shouted inside his brain. Faking a smile, he responded, "I'm sort of interested in your subject, actually. I went to find you in your office, but you weren't there."

 _Nice cover story_ , he thought, _good thing I actually did check her office first_.

The elderly woman gave a moment to think about the situation. "Well, you may step inside my classroom and I could give you a brief overview of the course," she replied, though her tone of voice seems more forced than usual.

The professor unlocked the door to her classroom with her wand, which Edward found abnormal, yet intriguing. He thought about asking why the wand movement was a simple backwards S motion and why her door was magically locked, but he shrugged it off. Perhaps it was safer to use magical means of locking a door, in order to prevent unwanted intruders from trespassing. Ed certainly didn't know the answer to that.

Professor McGonagall motioned Edward to take a seat somewhere in the classroom. Not really caring which seat he took (not that it mattered either), he plopped down in one the front row seats.

"Now, Transfiguration is - "

And the lecture began, for a full forty five minutes.

A barn owl screeched outside the window of Professor Dumbledore late that evening. Unable to continue working on the paperwork lying around on his desk due to the loud racket, he got up from the chair to open up the window.

Once he had opened up the window, the owl immediately perched one claw on the headmaster's index finger, the finger he had been holding out for the bird. Attached to the other claw was a rolled up piece of paper tied with a piece of blue string.

"Well, this is rather peculiar," Dumbledore remarked aloud. "Severus, come hither."

A black haired man briskly walked over to the owl and Dumbledore. "I suppose they have come calling once again."

Dumbledore, who was now preoccupied with reading the attached letter, frowned. Severus looked at him, anxious for any news or reports that might come by. Once he had finished thoroughly reading it, Dumbledore looked up at the man whom he trusted with his life, his eyes shining a bit too brightly for the night sky.

"The offspring has finally hatched, dear me."

* * *

 **Did you like it? i hope it satisfies your needs of FMA &ParallelWorld c; **

**As always, please review below!**


	7. in which it is the first of September

**I'm only six days late this time...I tried? Again, super sorry for the late update - this time, I am not gonna establish a deadline. Hopefully I can produce another update before (shocker!) 2016 comes around!** _everyone scream noooooo because ew 2016 and ew to graduating the following year and blah blah blah_

 **If you have any questions or anything to tell me otherwise, please leave me a review below! Keep 'em coming, folks!**

* * *

The first of September could not come any faster, in Edward's opinion.

"I'm so fuckin' done with sitting down and doing nothing but shit around," he muttered underneath his breath, careful to keep his thoughts away from everyone else. Currently, the golden haired boy was pacing around his office, rummaging through piles of papers to find the schedule of today's events (written by Dumbledore himself, knowing that he may or may not forget about the most important day of his teaching career).

After finding the necessary paper, Ed scanned through the paper. He was expected to ride the Hogwarts Express, the train made specifically for students travelling to and from school, for the entire duration of the students' ride. He was to act as a supervisor for the ride, in case anything went off track.

"Shit," Ed swore as he realized that he was supposed to meet the headmaster in fifteen minutes in order to be Apparated over to King's Cross.

He stuffed the remaining bits of his biscuit into his mouth, chewing on it as he threw on a black shirt. Grabbing his red coat from the back of his chair, he put it on as he was walking out of the office door, determined to make it to Dumbledore's office on time.

After all, train rides with rowdy school children seemed more interesting than dawdling around and drawing transmutation circles all day.

"Ah, Naoyuki. How it is to see you on this fine day," Dumbledore remarked, gazing out of the tall window. He was looking down upon the Black Lake, where the merman and other creatures live deep down in the murky water.

"Mornin', old man," Edward rudely replied. Hands dug in the pockets of his leather pants (much like a bored person), he continued, "Are we leaving soon?"

"In a moment. I'm taking my time with the scenery outside today. Lovelier than the usual, I must say," Dumbledore mused. "But of course it is nothing you would be interested in." Edward jerked his head in a motion that meant a yes in the eyes of his headmaster. He turned to look at Ed properly. "Well, shall we go?" he asked, extending his hand.

Ed took his hand firmly. "Of course, sir."

"Follow me, if you will," Dumbledore asked kindly, though Edward recognized it more as a command.

They descended down the stairs rather quickly, hastily greeting faculty members at the school that came by them. Luckily, none of them stopped them to make small talk. Dumbledore nipped a lemon drop from Professor Sprout on the way out of the entrance castle doors. Ed has yet to wrap his mind around the whole 'I can miraculously steal crap from you with a magical stick!' deal. Over the past month, he's more or less adapted, but still needs an explanation to the science behind magic.

Dumbledore pushed open the gigantic front doors manually, but as soon as Edward was one step outside, he immediately closed it shut with his wand.

"You don't spout incantations or anything?" Edward asked the man.

Dumbledore shook his head. "As you reach a certain level of skill, students learn how to perform wordless magic. It's usual for students to learn once they reach their sixth year and in their NEWT classes."

 _Huh?_ "NEWT?" he asked.

"A fancy examination for students who plan on graduating from the school, I suppose you could say," Dumbledore replied in short. "Now if you will, take my hand."

Ed grasped it firmly, and in a brief moment, they disappeared into thin air.

Apparition, the second time around, was not as bad as the first time. Now that Edward already had gone through the ordeal once, he was slightly more prepared the second time. Just _slightly._ This time, Ed didn't feel like he was going to retch within the next five seconds, nor did he feel badly off balance.

"More fun, I assume?" Dumbledore asked, talking about Apparition.

Ed shrugged. "I guess," he replied, not really caring either way. It wasn't Ed's preferred mode of transportation, but he could live with it.

"Well, I suppose I'll leave you to your own devices then," Dumbledore mused. Another second later, a crack ripped through the air as the old man Apparated back outside the castle.

"Damnit, can't even stick around to have a decent conversation," Edward complained to himself. He looked over to the clock hanging on the wall across from him. Reading the analog clock (which read five minutes past ten A.M.), he figured he had some time left for himself before he had to board the Hogwarts Express.

Walking around the platform wasn't exactly amusing, though. There were not many students outside or inside the train, and most of them were early because they were, put it this way - newbies, and had to be early so that they could become more acquainted with the area. Ed believed that some of them were Muggle-borns by the way that they were alone and didn't really have a clue what they were doing. He didn't blame them; he felt just the same way when his mum passed away. If there were thousands of people your age around you doing one thing and you were alone doing the other way, you would feel like the odd one out and quickly conform to everyone else around you.

 _They'll pick up on what they need to do_ , Ed thought. _I'm not here to teach them how to get on a train, after all._

Ed finally decided to board the train when it became twenty five past ten. Now that students were trickling in by the numbers, he realized that the sooner he had a compartment to himself, the better. As he walked by people, he picked up on a few lines.

"Back of the train, mate?" someone called out to his friend.

"Yeah, Seamus!" the dark skinned boy replied, tossing a suitcase into the luggage compartment.

"Mummy, where's my wand?" a girl asked, searching her pockets desperately.

 _Fantastic, a kid's already forgotten their wand and we haven't even gotten to school yet. I pray this isn't a first year git, even if I don't believe in any deity._

"Shove it, boy," a fourth year kid shoved Ed.

"Watch your manners, stupid," Ed muttered. He didn't really have the heart to tell him to back off, and he knew that he'll find out he's a teacher at his school soon. Plus, where was the fun in telling someone that he was a professor at Hogwarts?

 _Screwing around with these kid's brains would be entertaining..._ Ed thought to himself.

As soon as he found an empty compartment, one close to the middle of the train, he jumped inside and shut the door behind him. Sure, Edward might have pushed a guy aside just to pull off that kind of stunt, but hey - you have to be fast at these kinds of stuff if you want anything in the world. There isn't time to wait around on anyone; it's on you. There also might have been a few selfish reasons to back up why it's a good idea to jump people...but that stays in the filing cabinet.

Ed propped himself up on one of the seats, and his feet made contact with the wall. He laid there, stretched out, as he gazed outside the window. The view outside of people coming out of a brick wall and parents throwing things left and right isn't what Ed would define as beautiful, but definitely fell under "Time wasters".

Ed heard the train whistle blow ten minutes later, as he saw adults and young children alike waving to their family members. Around him, he could hear students screaming things, most of them goodbye statements. He continued to mind his own business, looking at a strange plump woman with orange hair who was saying frantic goodbyes to her sons on the train.

"What were their names again?" Ed mumbled. "Percy, Gred, and Forge?" He yawned, finding the names more and more boring as he repeated them silently in his head.

Ed jerked his left arm out, but suddenly fell to the floor. Lifting himself up, he got up and trudged back over to the train seat he had been on. However, this time he chose to sit upright, rather than laying down in an odd position. Still bored out of his mind, he took out his notes on his travels around Amestris, all coded perfectly to the point where no one but himself could decipher the messages written. Ed smiled as he read the first page he had flipped to.

 _Remember when the Colonel and the Lieutenant…_

* * *

Hawkeye frowned, her demeanor hardening by the second. The situation had made a turn for the worse. Now that Edward was on the other side of the Gate, and her superior officer is suspicious of a reincarnation of Envy, one of the Seven Homunculi, lounging around somewhere in Central City, she feared for the worst.

"A second civil war…" she uttered to him.

"Perhaps, though can be prevented if we take the right measures," General Roy Mustang replied, leaning back in his chair. "I have, only a couple hours ago, sent a letter through the Gate. With luck, it'll reach his eyes. We can hope for an answer within the next forty-eight hours."

"And if it falls in the wrong hands?" Yes, Riza Hawkeye did trust her superior officer, but not the strangers holding Edward away, where his safety wasn't guaranteed.

"It's written in code. Fullmetal's seen my code and deciphered it without my teachings. He'll be fine. Strangers won't be able to read through the lines," Mustang waved off, but stopped to look at Hawkeye. Noticing the worry lines starting to appear on her face, Mustang continued. "Lieutenant, it'll be okay. We'll get to the bottom of this."

"I do hope so," she replied, without so much a glance at him. Then she changed the topic entirely. "Now, back to your paperwork. Because of Alphonse, you've been lagging behind, and now there's a mountain pile of work to do!"

Roy Mustang sighed, pulling the puppy dog face. "Please?"

Hawkeye's face was stern and stubborn. She pointed to the paperwork already set on his desk. "Sign them before the day is over and we'll see about dinner tonight at the local restaurant down by the river with the rest of the crew."

Roy mock saluted her. "Aye aye, Captain." He picked up the first piece of paper in the stack and skimmed through the words. Lifting up his pen, he scribbled a signature down, not really caring about the "effects of construction down by Fifth Avenue."

 _This is one tedious, boring as hell job._

* * *

There was a rapping on the screen door to the compartment when Ed jolted awake from his nap. Half awake, he glared at the red haired boy, who seemed all too eager to go to school. Judging from his attire, he wasn't rich, and he had a rat on his shoulder. _Filthy scum_ was Edward's initial thought on the rat. He sighed and motioned him to come inside.

"You don't mind if I share the compartment with you, eh?" he asked, but he plopped into the other seat anyways.

"No," Ed replied, but his thoughts were different. _Yes, I do mind actually_. _Get out and leave me in peace and quiet._

"Oh, great, thanks," he answered. He stuffed a piece of candy into his mouth. "'M Ron."

Ed decided not to answer, since he was unsure whether or not it was a good idea to disclose the fact that he is a professor. Giving him his fake first name wouldn't be a good idea either. He wasn't about to have students calling him Naoyuki. Professor Kuzumi was a better choice, but again, he would rather keep that bit of information private until later.

"Not very talkative, are you?" Ron commented. "That's okay, I can sit here and be quiet. How long's the train ride, again?"

 _You've never asked me that question before, and I have no clue how long the train ride is_. "Hopefully for the rest of your life."

"Grouchy much?" Ron huffed. "Fine, be that way." Then he got up and left the compartment, slamming the screen door behind him. He stalked away down the crowded aisle.

Ed rolled his eyes. He frankly didn't have the time to deal with his attitude problems, and was about to fall back asleep again when the door opened up. He glared at the black haired boy, the scrawny kid he had seen earlier on the platform.

"I-I can leave if I am interrupting you, sir," he politely said, stepping back.

"No, it's fine," Ed waved off. This kid wasn't so bad compared to Ron. "The other seat's free if you want it."

The kid smiled. "Thank you."

As he trailed over to the seat to sit down, Ed caught the briefest glance of a scar on the boy's forehead. When he sat down, the scar was covered up (quite well too, in Ed's opinion) by his long black bangs. However, he knew what he had seen, and there wasn't any doubt about it.

 _Your task is to go to the Wizarding World and act as a bodyguard to the Potter boy_ , Truth's words rang out loud and clear in the back of Ed's mind.

 _He is, after all, the Boy who Lived_ , McGonagall's voice echoed in his mind.

A couple of weeks beforehand, Ed had eavesdropped on a conversation between Dumbledore and McGonagall. They were friendly towards each other and most definitely had each other's backs, at least to him. They had trust written into each other, very much like two people he knew.

Shame that Dumbledore doesn't scream ' _I have feelings for a certain professor_ '.

"When're we getting there?" the scrawny kid asked, seemingly bored out of his mind, not unlike Ed himself.

He shrugged. When the kid wasn't looking, he pulled out his pocket watch to check the time. Sure, there might've been a clock nearby that he could have used instead, but he needed a reminder of home. "It's twenty minutes past eleven. So I guess sometime in the next several hours?"

"Oh, okay." This time, he didn't seem so depressed and disappointed over having to sit in a compartment for a few hours, unlike Ron.

After a few minutes passed by, the kid had made no motion to drag on the conversation even longer, which pleased Ed. He frankly did not have the energy to keep talking to the kid, at least not right now. Ed also noted the fact that this guy seemed shy and quiet, but also pretty naive for an eleven year old kid.

 _Perhaps he's Muggle-born, born to a Muggle family. Wouldn't really explain how thin the kid is, though, lest he's done things wrong in the past_ , Ed thought.

Much to his dismay, a slam interrupted his thoughts - again.

"What're you doing back here, ginger?" Ed grouched.

"There wasn't any space left in any of the compartments," Ron replied hastily. He gazed over to look at the other person in the compartment. "Hey, you're that kid I met earlier!" he pointed at the scrawny kid.

"Er, yeah. Nice to meet you officially, I guess," he answered indifferently.

"I'm Ron. Ron Weasley," he introduced himself. He extended a hand, to be polite.

 _That's sort of a first_ , Ed chuckled to himself.

The kid reached out and shook his hand. With a smile, he said, "I'm Harry. Harry Potter." Ed took note of the fact that he actually tried to smile this time, instead of looking dreary.

Ron's jaw dropped as he realized who he was talking to. " _You're_ Harry Potter?" Harry nodded, and Ron kept rattling on. "D-do you really have it? You know, t-the - "

"Scar?" Harry filled in immediately.

Ed turned away from the two of them and rolled his eyes. _May as well be brothers, mate._

"Yeah, that." Ron flushed red.

Harry raised his hand up to his forehead, pushing the bangs out of the way so that Ron could see the famous lightning bolt shaped scar etched onto the skin. To Ed, it looked like the scar had gone deep, past the skin. Again, it was a scar that hasn't faded away after ten to eleven years.

Ron stared at the scar with awe. "That's wicked."

Harry turned towards Ed, letting his hand drop to his side. "You didn't really care about seeing it, did you?"

Ed shook his head. "Nah."

 _But scars are just reminders of the past, and you choose how you want to look at it._

* * *

"Good evening, Riza," Roy greeted the woman at her apartment door, giving her a bouquet of roses he found at the flower stand earlier that day. "Ready to go?"

"Roy, you really should've said something about _date night_ ," Riza teased. "Let me guess, drinks on you at Madame Christmas's?"

"But Riza, dinner always comes first," Roy pointed out. "Then we can get silly and drunk later. Plus, Havoc's in the car waiting on us downstairs."

"Alright, alright," Riza said. She bent down to pick up Black Hayate. Roy stroked the dog's fur, and the wagging of his tail with his panting made Roy especially delighted. Riza petted the top of his head and let him down. "Time to go. Hayate, you're on guard watch." The dog woofed once, acknowledging his job. She shut the door moments later.

Roy found it a good idea to carry Riza around for the night, so he picked her up and travelled down the stairs. Though there were a series of protests coming out of her mouth, he simply laughed at them and continued to carry her down. In Riza's defense, she hadn't really tried to make the man put her down in the middle of a staircase. There was a chance she could land improperly.

Once they made it outside, Roy opened the door to let her sit in the back seat. She slid in first, then Roy followed shortly after, choosing to sit with her like a _normal couple_ that isn't affiliated with the military at all.

"Seven Rivers, please, Havoc. And step on the gun, we don't have much time to waste," Roy ordered Jean Havoc, the driver of the night.

"Yes sir," he replied, stepping on the gas pedal.

And off they sped through the mostly empty streets of Central City, and before you ask, Riza _did not_ vomit this time after the ride.

"Havoc's...getting better," Riza commented, stepping out of the vehicle.

"I see your stomach hasn't flipped over after that ride," Roy groaned, clutching his stomach. "I could use some wine this evening. Care to join me?"

"Of course, sir," she answered.

They, along with Havoc, were quickly escorted to a table in the back of the restaurant, where the rest of Team Mustang (and other trusted affiliates of Roy Mustang) were waiting patiently. Roy greeted them all with a friendly wave and sat down at the end of the table. Riza found Lieutenant Rebecca Catalina quickly, and the two of them found seats by Havoc and Roy.

A waiter by the name of Jeremiah came by, offering up drinks. Bottles of wine circled the table, with the occasional glass of water. The team all came together and clinked glasses. Roy drank half of his glass of wine immediately, then slammed it onto the table.

"Close the door, would you, Heymans?" he asked.

Lieutenant Breda saluted, and got up to shut the door. At the same time, everyone sat back down and waited for the night to begin.

Riza stood up, bowing to everyone. "Thank you all for taking time out of this night to discuss more... _intriguing_ matters." A chorus of "you're welcome" came from most of the people in the room.

 _Breathe in, breathe out._

"Let's begin with the matter on the most recurring topic of all: _what to do with the Fullmetal Alchemist?_ "

* * *

 **Don't forget to leave a review below! :)**


	8. in which the first years can be annoying

**And score! I am finally able to keep my promise of updating this fanfiction before the end of 2015! Anyone want a drink, they're on me! Anyways, I hope my lovely readers had a great holiday season up 'til now, and I wish you all a great end of the year and a great beginning to the New Year in about...48 hours! Can you believe it, the New Year begins in approximately 48 hours (for me at least)? Sounds fantastic, am I right?**

 **Casual reminder to read and review this chapter at the very end! I treasure all of your reviews so much! Love You!** _if you get the reference tell me and I may cry and put you in my next review because I Love You!_

* * *

"Edward- _kun_ 's been found," Riza stated. "However, he's located not in Amestris, but in the parallel world to ours - the Wizarding World."

A couple gasps were audible, and Roy took the opportunity to continue. "I'm sure you are all familiar with Amestris's relations to the Wizarding World, especially their government and school," he began, but was cut off.

"Yo Boss, you sure this isn't some way to boost your career a little bit?" Havoc, cigarette in between his teeth as per usual, joked. "Even just a teensy weensy little bit?" He showed the distance with his fingers.

Roy grumbled,not finding the situation amusing at all. "Havoc…"

"Sorry," Havoc grinned, wrapping an arm around Rebecca Catalina. "Her idea, of course." This earned a smack on the shoulder from her, even though she was bright red in the face and laughing at the same time. Roy paid zero attention to it, however.

"Moving along," he continued, "I'm sure you are all familiar with our relations to them, and of the importance of our relations. So that we do not damage the relationship we have, I have sent Fullmetal quite the extensive letter on _the dos and don'ts_ of this and his newest mission - stand by and fill the role of Alchemy Professor for the time being."

"Major Armstrong is back then?" Sheska asked from the back of the hall. Roy nodded, pointing over to the Major, who was perched in a corner munching on breadsticks. "Oh, welcome back, Major!" She saluted him.

"Sheska, how wonderful it is to see you!" the Major's voice boomed in the hall. A few people shirked back in fear of what might possibly happen, but as it turns out, he seemed more restrained than usual. Instead of just galloping over to get a hug from Sheska, he seemed more dignified when he stood up to hug her.

Roy leaned over to Riza. "Yes or no?" he asked, a smirk on his face.

Riza remained stone cold faced. "Absolutely not, sir. I give no permission for you and your men to make anything out of this." Roy pouted, but he already had that feeling that she was going to reject his request.

"Come on, Lieutenant, come have fun with us," he winked, which in turn earned a slap on the cheek from Hawkeye.

 _Maybe now isn't the time to piss off the Lieutenant. Try again later._

* * *

The train ride to Hogwarts was boring, in Ed's opinion. Actually, he preferred going through Apparition just a little more than suffering through another ride with eleven year olds that don't know what's coming after them. Not to mention the immaturity on the train ride. Ed didn't think his job was to babysit five year olds, much less eleven year olds that couldn't sit still for two seconds.

"Done prancing around the compartment?" Ed sighed. Frankly, he was tired and wanted some sleep right now, but no can do when Harry and Ron are the loudest people he's ever met, excluding the Major.

"Fine," Ron huffed like a two year old, plopping down on the train seat. "Hey Harry, I feel anxious."

"Why?" Harry asked, sitting down right next to him.

"I heard the Sorting test for our houses was going to be hard. Like we would have to use real magic, and there's spiders, and Harry, I don't know what to do!"

 _Kid's nervous 'bout nothing_ , Ed thought in his mind. "No such things exist," Ed muttered. "It's just a test, nothing new."

"About what?" Ron asked. "Do I already need to know some magic?"

"If there is magic on that test, how on Merlin are we supposed to know anything?" Harry said.

Ed rolled his eyes. _They'll see it soon_. "Weren't you supposed to at least crack open your books over the summer?"

"No one said anything about that!" Ron exclaimed. "Crap, we're doomed, Harry, we're doomed!"

Harry rolled his eyes. He was fairly sure Ron was just overreacting over the situation, plus it doesn't make much sense to hold a test when no one's studied the books over the past month since they got their booklist for the year. In a bored tone he replied. "We're doomed."

 _Heh, they won't know what's coming at them_.

Ed thought it would be more entertaining if he made them panic now. "So if you've got a test, then study for it?" he said as if he were stating the obvious - which in a way, he is.

"But our books and stuff are in the luggage compartment, and studying's no fun," Ron whined.

After realizing that fact, Ed sighed. "Guess you really are doomed then," he said with a wicked grin. "Now, let me go back to napping - " He stopped as soon as he heard the compartment door click open.

Outside of the door, the boys all saw a girl with shoulder length, bushy brown hair poke her head inside of the small room. She glanced at the three of them, and Ed felt like he was being judged at that very moment. Similar to how Winry might treat them sometimes, but this one was completely different because at least he knew Winry and Winry knew him. This is a complete stranger judging Ed.

"Have any of you seen a toad around a here? A boy named Neville's lost one," she asked, but she said the name, Neville, like she didn't approve of him. Ed swore he saw her nose turn up at the name too.

They all shook their heads. The girl, quite saddened that the toad wasn't in their compartment, left just as abruptly as she had come in. The door clicked shut when she left, and Ron let out the biggest sigh Ed's heard in a good while.

"Who's she?" he inquired, not really aiming the question at anyone. Harry and Ed traded glances, and they both shrugged their shoulders at the same time.

"Not sure, Ron," Harry replied. Then, a thought came to him. "Say, Ron, just wondering. Is Ron short for Ronald?" he asked.

It took all of Ed's might to hold back his laughter at the name of Ronald.

"Erm, yeah?" Ron responded, unsure of what direction this was going in.

"Oh, okay," Harry said, slouching back in his seat. "Just wondering."

Not much later, a red cart came by the compartment, filled with what looks like food and drinks to fill the children with. A plump woman with gray hair and brown highlights (which Ed found to be quite terrible looking) opened up the door - and without asking either.

 _No manners these days_ , Ed sighed. Sure, people might argue that he himself had no manners either in Amestris - or at least his commanding officer might've said that - but Ed did have his reasons for treating General Shithole Sparkypants like that. Plus, between Ed and the General, they respected each other and saw each other as imposed father and son.

But more on their...unique relationship later.

"Anything off the trolley, dears?" she sing songed, and Ed had the nerve to kick her into the atmosphere. Singing voices used in everyday conversation, to him, had no place in casual talk.

Harry and Ron looked back and forth. Ron pulled out a smushed bag from his trousers' pocket, and inside was supposedly a ham and beef sandwich. Ed repulsed at the sight of it.

"Disgusting," Ed said aloud. Harry nodded vigorously at the comment, while Ron merely tossed the sandwich to the ground. There was no way he was going to open up the bag and eat it.

Harry dug into his pocket after realizing that no one else brought premade food with them. Pulling out several gold coins, he handed them all to the witch with the trolley.

"We'll take the lot," he said proudly. Ron, in the background, had his mouth wide open at the sight of all the money he had. Ed, all too familiar with riches, looked unfazed at the sight. He merely sat there as Harry handed the gold coins, called Galleons, to the trolley lady.

"Thank you," she whispered. It was evident that she was surprised at how much an eleven year old kid had in their pocket as well. Seriously, was Ed the only person who wasn't shocked at the sight?

The trolley lady, which Ed has now taken to calling her "old food cart woman", dumped most of the items on her trolley onto the seat beside Harry. Ed watched in pure amusement as some of the food dropped onto the ground, and Ron scrambled around to pick them up (and stuff them in his mouth).

"Ron, share some of the food," Ed reprimanded the ginger headed boy.

"'Kay," he replied in between bites of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Jelly Beans.

Harry picked up a box shaped oddly, much like a circus tent in a smaller, more solid form. If Ed looked more closely at the words written on the front of the box, the words read: Chocolate Frog. Harry curiously opened the box, questioning whether or not it was safe to eat.

"It's safe alright," Ron said, clearly showing off his expertise. Ed didn't mind it so much, since he grew up in the Wizarding World. "I mean, if it weren't safe, I wouldn't be here right now!"

"Huh?" Ed said, confused.

Then Ron launched in a story about when he was four or five years old, his older brother, Fred - oh, that was his name, so the other one is George - fed him a Chocolate Frog as a dare from his twin brother, George. Ron was clearly scared at first, afraid that the frog might bite him, which Harry and Ed rolled their eyes at. Then Fred opened up the box with the frog inside, and the chocolate creature hopped out of the box. He caught it, and through Ron's protests, managed to shove the animal in his mouth.

"Now I know it's only a chocolate gooey mess shaped like a frog and magicked to imitate a frog's movements," Ron said as a matter-of-fact. "Go on, Harry, eat the damned thing," he insisted.

"Alright," Harry responded.

He opened the box, looking at the chocolate frog in the box. Then the chocolate creature jumped out of the box and onto the window. Ed watched it in amazement as it glanced back at Harry and Ron. While they were more or less stunned by the movement, the frog hopped out of the window, towards its freedom (or death, who knows?).

Harry's face fell at the sight. Ron sighed. "Well, it's only got one good jump in them. Besides, it's the card that you want. I've got about five hundred meself."

Harry, still slightly crestfallen, looked back in the box. He then pulls out a pentagon shaped card with a moving picture on it and words printed at the bottom of it. "Albus...Dumbledore?"

Ron smirked. "I've got about six of him."

Ed now was no longer interested in the younger boys' conversation. He was distracted by the surroundings outside. He found the scenery almost peaceful and nice, much like his home country and town of Resembool. At that moment, he missed home very much.

 _You'll return home soon, Mister Alchemist_ , the inner Truth inside of Ed reminded him.

 _Yeah, I will_ , Ed smiled to himself as he reminded himself of his new goal.

* * *

Around seven o'clock that night, the train finally pulled into the station at Hogsmeade. By then, Edward was very tired and slightly irritated by a few people on the train. He looked down on his clothing and ruffled out his red coat. He didn't see the need to walk into the Great Hall looking like a slob that just slept not even two minutes ago.

"Hurry up and change, Ron." Ed knocked on Ron's head with his knuckle, and Ron winced at that. To Harry, he did the same, but Harry wasn't as bad as Ron.

Ed departed the compartment, but right then, he heard his name being called. He turned around to look at Ron and Harry, their faces looking like they wanted answers. He raised his hand in surrender and asked them to repeat what they just said, since he hadn't heard a thing.

"Why aren't you dressed properly?" Harry asked, staring at his flashy red coat.

"I have my reasons," was all Ed said. _You'll find out momentarily_ , he added to himself.

"Wish I could wear my pajamas and not these robes," Ron grumbled to no one in particular as soon as Ed departed from the compartment.

Ed left them alone, obviously knowing that they were boys and they probably wanted to be by themselves when they changed. Plus, he couldn't be attached them to them at all, not emotionally at least. Ed was not planning on being their babysitter anytime soon.

 _I might be their "older brother" in terms of age, but for fuck's sake, I refuse to be their babysitter_.

Sometimes Ed really did hate the fact that he was only seventeen and not any older, and his height really wasn't helping the situation at all.

Ed got off the train and looked around. Everywhere he saw, there were students who were being escorted to the castle by his colleagues, and then there was Hagrid. The half giant was calling out for first year students, leading them to the boats in the river nearby. With a small smile, Ed proceeded up to Hagrid and gave him a wink. Hagrid winked back, or at least attempted to.

All of a sudden, Hagrid lifted up Ed and carried him over to the boats. Ed cried out in protest, and even went as far as to calling him names until Hagrid set him down in an empty boat. Hagrid crouched down and whispered to Ed.

"Dumbledore's orders. He wants to give you a special entrance when he announces you as the new professor," he told Ed. Understanding the situation now, Ed nodded.

That didn't stop him from yelling at Hagrid, though. "You didn't have to pick me up, idiot!"

Hagrid chuckled as he got into the bigger and more modified wooden boat beside Edward's. Ed assumed that a professor must have altered it a little bit to accommodate Hagrid's size and build. Standing up on the boat, he ordered all the boats to do one thing: go to Hogwarts.

Instantaneously, the oars located on the side of the boats floated up into the sky and then downwards into the water. Much to the kids' amazement, the oars began to row the boat to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry - no human involvement necessary. Ed found it a bit demeaning, since this task could be carried out by ordinary means (without magic), but let it go anyways.

Around him, students were chirping about the scenery. Some were talking about how big the castle was, some students were talking about the legend of some monster in the Black Lake, others found the animals more interesting. Ed listened more closely into conversations that spoke about the legendary monster. He was slightly interested in it and perhaps he could take it on whenever he felt like sparring with some slimy water monster.

Ed's boat eventually reached Hagrid's, and he decided to ask the Keeper of Keys a few questions. "Say Hagrid, why are the first years going this way?"

"No one's told ye 'bout the Sorting Ceremony?" Hagrid exclaimed. Finding the words unrecognizable, Ed shook his head. "These youngins are Sorted into their Houses based on who they are as a person. Then, each House competes every year for the House Cup, which kinda shows off how much they've done in a year."

"How does a House win?" Ed asked.

"Professors give out points for achievements, and take away points for misdemeanors. You can do that too, Naoyuki."

 _So, basically I can just strip away as much as I want to, and give out as much or as little as I feel like it?_ "Sounds fantastic," Ed replied, an evil smile written on his face.

"Knew ya'd like it." Hagrid sounded so triumphant with himself, as if making Ed smirk was an accomplishment.

The boats soon arrived at its destination, and everyone, including Ed, were asked to depart the boats and climb up the stairs. At some part of the stairs would be a professor awaiting their arrival, so that the Sorting Ceremony may begin. Ed, since he was not a student at the school, was asked to escort them up the stairs and make sure the students do not misbehave.

"Can't I just make them walk in a single file line and have them keep their traps shut?" Ed grumbled to Hagrid.

"Nah, give them a little wiggle room, Naoyuki," Hagrid replied. "First years, go up that path of stairs until ye see Professor McGonagall, our Deputy Headmistress. She'll then escort ye lot to the ceremony."

 _Seriously, does the half giant know how to feel sadness or any other emotion that isn't overly happy and joyful?_

Hagrid turned to Ed, and they both exchanged looks. "See you soon, I guess," Ed waved as he started climbing up the stairs with some first years.

* * *

When the students finally found Professor McGonagall, Ed took the chance to venture off from the group. He was already familiar with his colleagues, and he sure wasn't about to get bunched up with some eleven year old naive brats.

He heard her voice faintly as he awaited for his next instructions. He could hear her introducing herself, and scolding off a couple of them at the same time. Ed believed he heard a toad croak upstairs as well, which was a bit strange, but at this point, he could believe _anything_.

Including a "the Homunculi are still alive" kind of statement.

The doors to the Great Hall opened, and from downstairs, Ed could hear the music sung by the Frog Choir, run by Professor Flitwick. The footsteps of the students' clamoring into the Great Hall was audible for a good two minutes, then died down as the doors closed by themselves. Now that the students had disappeared behind the wooden doors, Ed climbed the rest of the way up until he was face to face with the doors himself.

No one was standing around now, so Ed plopped down onto the stair step. Thanks to Dumbledore's loud, booming voice and Professor McGonagall's amplified voice in the Great Hall, he could still hear what was going on in there while sitting out here. Ed mentally took note on a few people who had unique names.

 _Hannah Abbott, a Hufflepuff. Hermione Granger, a Gryffindor. Draco Malfoy, a Slytherin. Padma Patil, a Ravenclaw. Her twin sister, Parvati Patil, a Gryffindor. Harry Potter, a Gryffindor. Ron Weasley, another Gryffindor._

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" Ed heard the headmaster exclaims loudly. Many cheers and claps were given from the students. "I hope you all had a terrific summer vacation and rested up now for the new school year!"

 _Terrific is not the word I would use in that sentence_ , Ed thought to himself.

Dumbledore continued on. "I would like to introduce our new changes in faculty recently. First, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Quirrell." Ed figured he must have gestured over to the man, because there were a few claps for him.

In the midst of all that, Ed did not see the door to the Great Hall open and shut again. A tap on his shoulder though, from Professor Sprout, startled him greatly.

"Ready?" Pomona Sprout asked him, and Edward nodded.

When the claps have died down, Dumbledore spoke again. "Some of you may have already noticed, but Professor Armstrong is not joining us this year due to matters in his home country." Several people were taken aback at that statement, since they had grown accustomed to his strange ways and habits, but ended up liking him as a teacher. "Do not fear, students. Alchemy will remain as a subject here at Hogwarts. This year, we are proud to welcome - "

Pomona gave Ed a light push, and Ed knew this was it.

"Welcome again, Naoyuki," she smiled.

Ed pushed open the door leading into the Great Hall forcefully. This was the moment of truth.

" - Professor Naoyuki Kuzumi as our new Alchemy teacher!"

 _But where was the kind smattering of applause that had been so evident before?_

* * *

 **Don't forget to review everyone, and have a great 2016! See you all again soon, and with an update too! Love You!**


	9. in which Fullmetal attends the feast

**It's March, which means spring time and cherry blossom season! Also two more months until summer vacation begins and** _cue the gasp_ **the one year anniversary of this fanfiction comes around! Can you believe it, because I sure can't!**

 **I also went back into the previous chapter and realized that a lot of the actual dialogue during the train scene during Harry's first year at Hogwarts is not in that order, so I'll be editing that soon (or at the end of the fanfic, who knows?). Just know that some of the dialogue is not exact to what Rowling had put, but it's close. Also, if someone could actually tell me what rank Hawkeye is in this fanfiction - do not use this chapter as reference because it may be off by a rank or two.** _i may or may not be going crazy mentally, who knows? also reward may be gummy bears and shoutouts_

 **Despite my failures as an author to update more frequently, I do hope you guys still continue to read and review at the end. If you stuck through this fanfiction since the beginning (or anytime before this chapter), thank you so much! If you just joined now, still thank you for sticking all the way through to this chapter! Love you all for the great reviews, follows, and favorites so far - keep it up!**

 **Again, please read and review at the end of this chapter!**

* * *

 _Huh? Where did all the applause go?_

Ed was confused, but he didn't let the lack of applause hinder his walking down the middle aisle. He took a look around, taking mental notes on the students' curious faces as they wondered who he was. A few of them were making remarks under his nose, and Ed caught a few of them.

"He's kinda cute, but Diggory's better," said a fifth year Hufflepuff girl. Her friend must have said something else, for the girl giggled at her comment.

"Not really robe standards, but the colors really suit him well," a Gryffindor girl said. "I wonder where he came from;he doesn't look like a wizard that originated here."

"I wish Professor Armstrong was here, Belle, this guy looks like he might smolder us if we make one wrong move," a Gryffindor boy said to the girl across from him. Ed couldn't help but to think that he just might - but only if his damn commanding officer would actually teach him Flame Alchemy.

 _Goddamnit Mustang_ , he thought angrily.

Meanwhile, the Slytherins were passing snide remarks, but Ed couldn't hear those quite as well. He didn't really care what they had to think, though. If they found him as an incapable teacher, then so be it. They'll get their real first impression soon anyways.

Ed looked up at the professor table, where most of the teachers were applauding kindly, as to cover for the students, perhaps. There was the off chance that they were actually acting upon their feelings, since Ed has had approached most of them in the past few weeks and got to know some of them in depth. However, he couldn't stop the cynical thoughts entering his mind.

Dumbledore assisted Ed up to his seat at the table, though Ed had waved him off, insisting that he didn't need any help at all. "Professor Kuzumi, starting this year, will be teaching Alchemy to those wishing to learning the art from all years, from first to seventh year. While Alchemy may seem interesting at first sight, on behalf of Professor Kuzumi, I would like to warn you all that this is no easy subject. The professor would also like to disclaim that there may be consequences if one chooses to not give their best effort. Please consider this course carefully if you were to pick up this class as an elective."

The students looked utterly frightened at Dumbledore's grave warning, but then he smiled. "But alas! Welcome to Hogwarts, new students, and for those returning, welcome back! Before we commence the start-of-term feast officially, I have just a few words to say: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!" Then with a wave of his arms, food magically appeared right on everyone's plates.

"Thank you!"

Students clapped and cheered at the rather short speech (and that's not a jab at a certain someone's height) as they dug into the scrumptious food set before them. Edward was in the same boat, as he picked up a large drumstick from his plate and mowed it down.

"Such an appetite you've got tonight, Naoyuki," Professor Sprout commented.

Ed swallowed the remainders of the chicken down before he spoke. "Yeah, I haven't eaten much since lunch, and that was about seven hours ago!" To the side, he added, "...and it wasn't much of a lunch, in my opinion."

Pomona chuckled. "I suppose that is true. We've been scurrying around the school, putting everything together for today. It's been stressful here. I daresay you got the better job out of all of us."

Edward frowned. "I stand to disagree. The first years were a handful in the compartment."

"Well, if you were placed with the eleven year olds, then it must have been a rather interesting trip. How did you like them?" Professor McGonagall intervened.

Edward put a finger to his chin. "The red haired boy, Weaselbee I think his name was, will be a handful during class. His pal, Potter, has a big mouth already. I don't recall the rest. They didn't leave much of an impression if I can't remember them, though."

"Harry Potter, the new...celebrity," Professor Snape said with such distaste. "Yes, the big mouth must have come from his father after all."

"Severus, please do try to be a bit more kind to the boy in the beginning," Minerva McGonagall said. "You disliked James very much, but at least do give the boy some room to grow into his own individual before putting your own personal emotions into the equation."

At this point, Edward had no idea what they were talking about, so he moved on to the mashed potatoes sitting next to the chicken. Picking up a spoon, he dug in.

The ghosts now were beginning to flood the Great Hall with their transparent presence (if that even makes sense). Pomona did good in helping Edward to identify a few of them, mainly the House ghosts and the ever so annoying Peeves. Ed nodded every now and then to show that he was listening...just a little bit.

When Nearly Headless Nick showed the Gryffindor table how very nearly headless he was, Ed didn't repulse back in horror like the first years. Perhaps the many years of running around Amestris as part of the Amestrian military had done a number on the seventeen year old. Perhaps the day that Ed had found the remains of the chimera on the wall had deeply affected him much more than he thought. It was possible, after all. Anything is possible at this point too.

"You don't look surprised. Is this a common occurrence?" Pomona gestured to Sir Nicholas, who had put his head back where it belongs. Even a ghost has a head attached to its neck.

"Not really. I've seen worse, trust me," Ed replied, not really wanting to delve into the subject further. He didn't want to explain Nina and Alexander to strangers. Thankfully, Pomona could read the situation, and didn't press any further.

Eventually, the food disappeared from everyone's plates, but by now, the food had practically travelled to at least two thousand people's aching stomachs. Dumbledore rose to the podium, and the chatter in the room died down. He made a few announcements, many which most of the older students had probably heard countless times before. The newer students looked at the headmaster attentively, sucking the information into their brains as if their lives depended on it. Many of the rules were common sense, though. It made Ed wonder which particular students had broken these rules before.

"Last, but not least, let us all sing the school song!" Dumbledore added at the very end. Ed heard the very audible groans from most of the school, but the headmaster wasn't paying attention to the moans and groans as he flicked his wand. The words to the school song came out of his wand in a ribbon-like substance and turned itself into actual words.

"And off we go!" Dumbledore exclaimed, and the entire school began to sing. Edward more or less sat there as he pretended to sing along with the rest of them.

* * *

After the get-together, Roy and Riza both found themselves alone, cleaning up the remains of the food and what-not in the room. Neither of them were particularly talkative; instead, they were quiet and went about their work as if the other wasn't really there. When they finished, they finally looked at each other.

"Would you like me to drive you home, sir?" Riza offered.

"That would be much appreciated, Lieutenant," Roy responded.

Lieutenant Hawkeye took out her keys and headed out to the military car, while Brigadier General Mustang followed shortly after. He had to notify the waiters and waitresses that they were finished using the room for their own means and then go to the military car. At the car, Lieutenant Hawkeye was standing outside the driver seat, her hand at her forehead as she saluted her superior officer.

"At ease, Lieutenant. We're not at headquarters, no need to be so formal," Roy sighed.

Riza let her hand drop to her side. "Ready to go?" Roy nodded in response, and she hopped into the driver's seat.

Roy slid into the passenger seat. "Shall we go see Alphonse? I don't think we've seen him for a few days. He must surely be bored out of his mind."

"To Central Hospital we go, then," Riza replied, stepping on the gas pedal.

A frantic look popped on his face. "You don't have to come if you're tired…"

"On the contrary, I am not tired and I do believe we owe a visit to Alphonse. After all, the last time we saw him was Tuesday, and today is Saturday," Riza counteracted. "May I remind you that I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions?"

"I never doubted that, not even for a second. I…" Roy was lost now, lost as to what he should say next. He didn't want to admit out loud that he cared for his assistant as much as he did, or even that he relied on her a little more than he should. His face reflected his thoughts, since his cheeks felt like they were on fire.

 _Damn pyromaniac, that's what you are_ , his subconscious said out of nowhere.

"I know what you're saying," she said, breaking the awkward silence. "Also, we're almost there." Roy blinked twice, and he realized that they were indeed a couple minutes away from the designated location.

When they arrived at the hospital, Riza pulled into the first open parking spot she saw. They both jumped out of the car and hurried inside, eager to see Alphonse. Roy reached the information desk first, and he signed in as a visitor to Al, along with Riza behind him.

"We're still in uniform, sir," Riza pointed out. "Please look a little bit more dignified, especially in plain sight of the public."

"Of course, Lieutenant," Roy replied. He had forgotten that he was still dressed in his blues, and a glance down at his clothes affirmed what his lieutenant had said.

 _Damnit, can't be a regular citizen of Amestris yet. Ugh._

The lady behind the counter registered them both in. She looked up at them, her expression just as blank as before. "Mr. Elric is in room 302 on floor 3."

"Thanks ma'am," Roy said, and rushed upstairs. His lieutenant sighed and followed him, matching his pace as they went to go find Al.

* * *

Edward was not amused with the school song, not one bit.

He found the "song" more suitable for two year old wizard kids listening to nursery rhymes as they deal with their magical parents when they say their bippity boppity boo. Therefore, while the rest of the school was trying to sing in their best voice, he sat there, moving his lips, but not making a sound.

"That was lovely!" Dumbledore exclaimed when the song finally ended (which was when two red haired duo finished their absurdly slow and depressing version of the song). "Time for bed, everyone! Let's begin the year off in tip top shape!" With that, he dismissed everyone from the hall - which really meant a traffic jam between all four houses.

Edward looked over, watching Severus Snape disappear behind a side door. Left and right, teachers were either trying to leave the Great Hall for their own rooms, or they were trying to help the younger folks get to their dormitories. He sighed, wondering what he should do.

 _Well that's as plain as day, for Truth's sake_.

Getting up, he followed a professor through the secret side door. Edward was not in the mood to deal with these children tonight. That was an issue for tomorrow and the future days to come.

He walked into an empty hallway, and now he was confused as to where he was. Deciding that wandering aimlessly would not get him very far, Edward headed north, finding himself in the middle of a pack of Ravenclaws walking back to their dorms. He figured that they were older, since they were super chatty and seemed to be knowledgeable about the layout of the school. Thinking that it would be a little smarter to follow them and see if it was anywhere close to his room, he followed them half of the way back. At the same time, he caught a good part of the group's conversation.

"How was your summer?" a chestnut brown haired guy asked a girl.

"It was okay, nothing really exciting happened. We went to Italy, but that's about it," she answered, shrugging her shoulders.

"Roman wizards are strange. They're so obsessed with the ancient runes all over the country," her friend commented. "My dad's been there, so that's how I know."

"Anything cool that you got, Kara?" the guy asked.

"Nah, nothing that would interest you," the Kara girl said. "You're weirdly in love with chemicals and compounds. Such a Potions nerd."

"Ravenclaw forever," he said, blowing a kiss into the air.

Ed noticed that there was another girl walking with them that hasn't said a word. The other two girls and the guy were trying to get her to talk, but the most she's ever said weren't in word form, but with gestures.

"Han, what did you think about the new professor?" Kara asked.

Now she perked up. "He's short," was all she said.

Obviously, for Ed, he did not take that very well, but he had to keep that locked up in his mind for now. Blowing up at a student for calling him short was absolutely forbidden. It's not a school rule or anything, but it became a personal rule for him since he was first asked to become a professor at Hogwarts by Dumbledore.

"I know, right?" the second girl remarked. "He looks old enough to be a student here, actually."

"How old is he?" Kara wondered. The others shrugged. "Take a guess," she said.

"Fifteen," the quiet girl said.

"Twelve," the guy said.

"Thirteen," the second girl said.

At this point, Ed ventured off in a different direction. He was raging mad in his mind, and he didn't want to actually blow up in public eye's view.

 _I am not short!_ he screamed in his brain multiple times.

Ed looked around, wondering where he was. Noticing the Defense against the Dark Arts room a couple doors down, he knew that he was close to his own office and living quarters. From the DADA room, the alchemy classroom is only across the hallway. He walked quicker, eager to flop onto his bed and go to bed, not to mention blowing up in his living quarters

He unlocked the Alchemy classroom, just now seeing the crowd of girls nearby, watching his every move. Frowning, Ed realized that they were only there because they found him attractive (no idea how that even became a thought). He hurried inside the dark classroom and locked the door again. He was quite aware that magic could unlock this door, but he doubted that anyone would actually try that method, unless they wanted to cross Professor Kuzumi anytime soon.

Edward went into his living quarters, tired as hell now. He was still slightly angry, but the actual fuel had died down to a bare minimum. After all, he had matured a bit since he first became a dog of the military, which had meant that he would have to act more adult-like very early in his lifetime. That wasn't much of a huge problem, since he was the only family figure that his brother had, other than the Rockbells - but they weren't travelling around the country constantly with a pyromaniac chasing their every move.

He had almost not noticed an owl outside of his window.

"What the hell do you want?," Ed slurred, not in the mood to do anything.

Ed cracked open the window, just enough for the pesky bird to stick out one of his filthy claws. On the claw extended towards him was a letter tied up in a blue and white ribbon, the colors of the nation Amestris. Ed's eyebrows raised; now his interest peaked and his curiosity got the better of him.

"The fuck is this?" he muttered as he untied the ribbon. The owl hooted and flew away as soon as the letter was removed from his dirty claw. Ed read the front of the envelope, and his mouth formed an 'O' shape.

 _Sparky pants?_

* * *

"Do you think Fullmetal got the letter yet?" Roy asked Riza.

"Give it another few hours at least, sir," she replied. Sure, the reply was taking a while, but all they could do was hope, hope that he got the message.

" _Nii-san_ is there, I know it," Al said confidently. "He has to be."

Riza smiled, and it was clear to her superior officer that she trusted and believed Al to the fullest. "We know. He's just impatient, as usual."

"In my defense, Fullmetal's always been rash and indecisive, not to mention overdue with anything he has to submit. This won't be any different," Roy defended.

Riza cocked her head to the side. "Doesn't mean you lose faith in your subordinate, if you don't mind me saying, sir."

Roy had no response for that. He hung his head, not in shame, but for being reprimanded by his Lieutenant. "Very true, Lieutenant. I apologize for not putting a teensy bit more faith in my subordinate." This made Riza sigh, out of the maturity level the General was showing.

Al laughed. " _Nii-san_ was right, you two are perfect for each other."

This comment made Roy and Riza both turn beet red in the face, which made Al laugh even harder. The wicked smile on his face meant that the two Elric brothers had been discussing this for a while now, and this was only confirmation for them. Roy leaned over and whispered to Riza something, and she nodded. Al looked at them both curiously, wondering what they had said.

At long last, Riza inhaled deeply. "We wanted to tell you guys for a while, but we've never got the time to tell you since you were always running around the country, defeating our enemies. The Homunculi coming in, and Father, only made it worse."

Roy put his hand on Riza's. "We haven't told the team yet, actually, because of the fraternization rule in the military. However, due to your circumstances, we've allowed a bit of leeway."

"There is a condition though," Riza said in a serious tone, one where Al wouldn't dare to defy her. "You cannot discuss this with anyone, not anywhere, unless you are one hundred percent sure that you are in a private area and no one is eavesdropping in on the conversation."

"Agreed," Al said without hesitation.

Roy smiled at Al, then looked at Riza with the same eyes he's always used on her. "What we've wanted to say for the longest time is…"

Riza's smile was the absolute biggest and brightest smile in the world, according to Alphonse, when she announced, "We're engaged."

* * *

"Any updates?" Father asked the group of three from his throne.

"None from me," came from Pride and Sloth.

"One of the candidates has an interesting background, according to my sources," Envy mused, an evil grin on his face. "Mustang's got himself tied down to that one lady. Smokin' hot too."

"His assistant? Nah," Pride waved off. "There's no damn way that'd happen in a million years."

"Better believe it, shithead, because it happened," Envy said, thumping Pride's head with a knuckle. "They've been sneaking around lately, haven't you noticed?"

"Don't use 'em when I don't want to," Pride shrugged. "There's never anything when I use the shadows."

"Shithead, use them better," Envy replied.

"Envy, don't be mean to your brother," Father reminded his "son". "But this is useful information, if we can use it to our advantage…"

* * *

 **Don't forget to review, follow, or favorite! Thanks for everything so far, hope you guys keep it up!**


	10. in which Fullmetal teaches alchemy

**218 follows and 122 faves? Honestly, every time I look at the number of follows and faves, I'm astonished by the power of my fellow readers. I really can't expressed my gratitude and love for you all in words sometimes, other than 'I love you all so very, very much!'. Thank you all for being super awesome and amazing!**

 **The one year anniversary for this fanfiction is coming up quickly! For those of you who don't know, this fic was first published May 8, 2015. I could totally try to churn out another chapter (the probability of that happening is extremely low, due to exams being that week). However, I will be posting a poll on my profile if you guys would like to see a short one-shot of something in this story. Redirect yourselves there after reading this chapter if you'd like to see me write a mini-chapter of this fic.**

 **Again, please do not forget to review at the end! I do read everyone's reviews, and for those of you who send in constructive criticism, I do try to fix those mistakes...some of them are a little harder than others (Ed being OOC is one of them. I think he got some of that from me...not sure yet. Anyone want to run a scientific test to confirm this?).**

* * *

Al could not believe his ears. Was he hearing right? His hearing wasn't warped from being in the Gate for so long...right?

"You're - _what_?" he sputtered.

Alphonse's guard was basically gone at this point; if anyone tried to assassinate him, now was probably the best time to do so. His jaw would practically be on the floor, if there wasn't a bed in between the two objects. His eyes were darting between the engaged couple, looking for anything that might scream "April Fools!".

"We're getting married soon, Alphonse," Riza smiled, and her smile was one that shone like the sun. She put one hand with Roy's and the other touched Alphonse with the same kind of warmth that she's always had.

Alphonse shut his mouth and regained his usual personality. "T-That's wonderful! Congratulations to both of you!" he cheered. "When's the wedding ceremony?"

Roy shrugged. "We haven't cleared up the details yet, mostly because of the Promised Day and other circumstances."

"We're looking into a summer wedding somewhere nice and peaceful," Riza added. "Nothing affiliated with a church too."

Alphonse chuckled. "It might kill an alchemist or two to step in one and be under its ceiling for longer than necessary. _Nii-san_ wasn't really thrilled about Lior's case when he discovered the problem, both for the whole resurrection idea and the fact that it was in a religious place." He went quiet for a moment, but spoke again. "You could have the wedding in Resembool. I don't think anyone would mind, as long as you don't wear your blues."

"We never planned on it," Roy said, "but there's an idea. Thanks Alphonse, we might take you up on that offer. We'll see what happens." He stroked Alphonse's long blonde hair. "But first, focus on getting better. My team and I will get Fullmetal back."

Alphonse nodded. "I trust you all."

* * *

Ed stared at the envelope, shocked. He thought that he was completely alone in this parallel world, with nothing to rely on. But here was the proof, a letter from his commanding officer, the proof that screamed that he wasn't alone anymore. He had his trustworthy mates in Central, along with his brother. They'd be okay, and maybe with their help - _nah_. He didn't feel the need to worry him any more than he already had. Ed would get back to Central by his own willpower.

 _Although being able to go back home now would be great and fantastic and shit...except the school term just started._

"Fuck," Ed swore under his breath. If the year hadn't already started, Ed would've made Mustang get his ass back to Central that second.

He ripped open the envelope in his room, but as soon as he ripped it, the envelope literally turned into ashes. As they fell to the floor, Ed wondered if his commanding officer knew anything about this world. It would make sense. The letter and now this...did he know something or was this just alchemy that Ed hadn't brushed up on in a while?

Ed scanned the letter. Unconsciously, his brain was reading it as if his commanding officer was standing right in front of him and saying all of this out loud. The letter (and his brain) expressed Mustang's greatest worries and fears concerning the boy, but Ed knew that he was secretly saying how much he cared. The old fart can be a dad-like figure sometimes, but only when he chooses to. Ed smiled at the thought.

The next part of the letter answered most, if not all, of Ed's questions. It explained how Roy knew a thing or two about the Wizarding World, the history and political stuff between Amestris's government and the Ministry of Magic, the history behind the position of Alchemy Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and other necessary information that Ed needed to know. Ed was thankful that Alphonse had told Mustang and Hawkeye what exactly went down after the Promised Day.

Ed skimmed the very end of the letter. It stated that Ed was going to take over for Major Armstrong at this point as Alchemy Professor (already said and done, Mustang), and he would make up the curriculum and other things he felt the children needed to know. Ed sighed; he wasn't off the hook after all. Also, it said that Mustang himself would come to Hogwarts in a few weeks to do his assessment for the State Alchemy program, and the exact date would be known later in time. Knowing Mustang, Ed believed that the old fart would try to surprise him. It wouldn't _surprise_ him if that were to happen.

"Bastard," Ed muttered. "Thanks for the report, and for saving Al." A small smile was on his face, and Ed fell onto the bed, tuckered out from the day's events.

Tonight was one of the first nights that Ed had actually gone to sleep and didn't wake up from a nightmare once.

* * *

Morning came by again, and the alarm rang sharply. Irritated, the alchemist stumbled out of bed to shut off the annoying clock. After almost throwing the damn clock out of the window from the fifth floor, Ed put on his normal clothes. He tucked his pocket watch into the front pocket of his pants as usual, as a reminder of who he really was and what he was doing. This job was now for Mustang's satisfaction, whether Ed liked it or not.

 _Bastard can pay me back later, the asshole_.

Ed grabbed some papers off of the desk. These papers contained Mustang's letter (since Ed intended to decode the rest of the letter and put that shit in order), the lesson plans for the next two days of Alchemy, and a piece of stationery Ed was going to send back to Central Command sometime later this week.

He departed his living quarters to be greeted by his empty classroom. In a few short hours, the class would be filled to the brim with curious students, those who either spent their time gawking over the seventeen year old kid or those who were actually mildly interested in the subject he taught. For now, Ed threw the papers onto his desk and left the room. It was seven o'clock, and the guy was hungry.

As he entered the Great Hall for breakfast, Professor McGonagall greeted him. "Morning, Naoyuki," she acknowledged.

"'Lo, Minvera." Ed sent her a quick smile before moving to his respective seat at the teachers' table. It was way too early in the morning to remember his manners, but hopefully she didn't take note of that.

Ed stared at the milk in front of him before he changed it to orange juice, a more suitable drink for a seven o'clock wake up call. He scooped the eggs into his mouth quickly, reading through his travel notes at the same time. He needed to be ready for any magical questions that could cross his path today. Hopefully, the students wouldn't be such pests today.

He was wrong. Totally, completely wrong.

Around ten thirty began the first Alchemy class. With Ed's luck, he managed to get the first years for his first ever class, and they weren't exactly patient nor interested in the slightest. Most of them seemed to be in the class because the class had become mandatory for everyone, and this was evident because they were goofing off with their classmates.

At long last, when the bell rang to signal class to begin, Edward made his way down the stairs from his living quarters to the classroom. The chit chat in the class had begun to die down as people saw him enter the class, but some of the girls were practically collapsing in their seats because they found him attractive and whatnot. Ed shook his head; he could never understand what girls think half of the time. Winry was bad enough.

"Take your seats if you haven't already," Ed gruffed. "Class is going to begin, and y'all need to be sitting down if you want to be alive by the end of the class period. Also, shut your traps at the same time. Talking will get you a one way ticket to detention pretty fast, in my opinion."

Now everyone's eyes were on him. The girls that were dying earlier had finally shut their mouths and glued their eyes on him, as if he were to disappear in the next second. It was clear that within two seconds, Ed might've scared the living daylights out of a bunch of eleven year olds, but he didn't care. There were worse things that could scare them, if not kill them. Bastard Truth is one of them.

 _Now kid, that's not very nice_ , Truth invaded his thoughts again.

 _Shut the hell up, asshole_ , Ed told him.

"Welcome to the first day in Alchemy. I have only a few rules in this classroom, and it is absolutely crucial that you follow these rules to the very end, unless you receive special permission to break one. The rules are dangling over on that side of the class," Ed pointed to the opposite wall. "And failure to follow these rules may result in an expulsion from this class or a severe detention. This is your only warning. Fair reminder now that this class is mandatory if you'd like to become a second year next year.

I am Professor Kuzumi, your teacher for this course. I don't have a syllabus, since it's pointless when there's a good chance that I won't stick to it. However, you can expect that I keep careful record of what I teach and what I assign for homework, so don't expect anything to fly by me.

For those of you who are curious about myself, I am indeed an Amestrian ambassador sent by the Fuhrer himself and my superior officer. I am recognized as a State Alchemist in the military, which means that I am more than capable of teaching you lot about the field. Anything else?"

Hands shot up in the air right away. Edward stuck his tongue out at them. "You're damn funny if you think I'm answering anything else. Time to begin the lesson. Sticks away, you won't be needing them at all in this class. You will need paper and a writing utensil."

The students clicked their tongues rudely and stuck their wands in their knapsacks. Many of them had hoped that they would finally be able to utilize their magical tool. Some of them got out parchment and a quill but some of them opted to doze off for the rest of the lesson instead. Ed noticed this and concocted something else.

"Refusing to copy down the notes when there may or may not be a quiz next class is not wise," he winked, and this forced the remainder of the class to pull out parchment and a quill to begin copying notes. "I won't stand for slackers in this class. To slack off will result in extreme consequences."

Ed tapped the board twice. "Can anyone in here supply a definition as to what alchemy is?"

A girl with bushy hair and huge teeth raised her hand immediately. Seeing that no one else had their hand up, Ed called on her. "Yes, miss…?"

"Hermione Granger, sir. Alchemy is the conversion of a base metal to gold or to a universal potion. Today, it is a part of a Muggle science, chemistry," she recited almost word for word from the textbook.

Ed almost lost his mind at the definition until he laid eyes on the book on her desk. He sighed. "I see you have purchased the Frank D. Buggins version of the textbook when I explicitly stated in the school lists that you all were to buy the version printed by Tim Mauro recently." He looked around at the entire class, noticing several similar books on people's desks. "I suppose some of you didn't read the fine print on the list, am I right?"

Hermione looked shocked at the news. She sputtered some crap about how she was sure that no such thing existed, but Ed asked her to look over the first year school list again. Angry, she took a good look at the school list again to find the fine print written underneath the Alchemy textbook requirement.

"Oh," she squeaked like a mouse. "Sorry, Professor. I must have missed it when I skimmed through the list."

Ed waved it off. "It's okay, miss Granger." He turned to the class. "For those of you who have purchased the incorrect books, I advise you to write to Flourish and Blotts sometime this week to get the correct book. Textbooks will not be mandatory until next week. Failure to get a book by then will result in a loss of points in the class until you get one. Am I clear?" Several students nodded.

He turned to the board. "As for the definition of alchemy that miss Granger has supplied for us, that is the old definition for Alchemy in the Wizarding World. In the past couple centuries, a man whom we do not know brought a new kind of alchemy to this world. It is confirmed to be Western Alchemy, alchemy that originated from the country Amestris. The current definition for alchemy is a form of science that manipulates or alters matter using natural energy. Here, you use your internal magic and the magic that circulates around the globe to perform alchemy."

After he wrote the definitions of the two on the board, he looked at the class. Half of them were staring at him like deer in the headlights, while others were copying down the information. He noticed a hand waving in the air in the back row, and Ed called on him.

The lad's name was Dean Thomas, another Gryffindor student. "Can alchemy turn things into gold still?"

Ed nodded. "Yes, it is still possible. However, it is strictly forbidden against wizarding law to do such a thing, since it will have an effect on the economy. Anyone caught doing so will receive a fine and some time in jail, I believe."

A few people gasped. "You mean, we'd go to Azkaban for doing that?" a girl wearing green robes asked, shocked.

Ed assumed Azkaban was the Wizarding World's version of a jail. "Yes, miss…?"

"Greengrass," she answered pompously.

Ed sighed internally. To himself, he wondered how much longer he'd have to deal with some of these rascals today. Some of them hadn't bothered to open up the textbook over the summer, and some of them were clearly only in the class because of him, as much as he hated to admit it.

 _You should tell them that_ \- Truth began, but Ed knew exactly where that was going, and he didn't like that option either.

"Now, for those of you who bothered to even crack open the book, what can Alchemy be used for?" Ed inquired. He saw Hermione's hand fly up first, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that she had the brainpower of a Ravenclaw. A couple other hands were raised, and Ed called on them to answer the question.

They had responded with very, _very_ vague answers, but answers nonetheless. It took Ed a minute to decipher what they meant, and he elaborated on them in depth.

"Mister Finnigan is correct when he says that things can be made from sticks and stone. In an alchemical view, sticks can be transformed into anything that utilizes wood, like a birdhouse. Stones can be used to make buildings, provided that you have the ability to do so and the stamina required. Depending on the size of the transmutation, the amount of energy you'll need varies." Ed glanced at the students and their blank stares.

"Let's go over the one law everyone should know when it comes to alchemy: the law of equivalent exchange. As it is always known, humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. In other words, you must sacrifice something in order to receive something, and the two must be of equal value." Ed cleared his throat. "Is that clear?"

"Can you give us an example?" someone in the class called out.

"Sure," Ed replied. "If you were to make a birdhouse, for example, you would need wood. Am I right, mister Potter?"

Harry glanced up from his notes. "Uh, sure?"

"The answer is yes, mister Potter. The amount of wood you provide for the making of the birdhouse should be the amount of wood that it takes to build a birdhouse of that desired size. After the transmutation, a birdhouse should remain with no leftover wood. If you brought too much, you will make a huge birdhouse. If you brought too little, you will have a small birdhouse. Does that make sense?" Several students nodded.

Dean's hand waved in the air. "Professor Kuzumi, we only have about three more minutes of this class."

 _That kid seems a little too eager to leave class today._ "Okay," Ed acknowledged. "To begin the year off, I thought it would a good idea for you all to do a little homework." He heard groans come out of most of the students' mouths. "Tonight, please write to Flourish and Blotts for your required textbook. We cannot begin learning transmutation circles until you all bring them in. Also, please find a partner to be with in this class. Partners will help you learn not only the practical portion of this class, but also give you some lifelong lessons as well. Thirdly, please write a foot long summary of what you learned in class today, since many of you barely copied down anything from today's lecture. This is to be done without use of outside materials or consulting others for the notes. Failure to follow this will result in a consequence."

The entire class was more or less horrified, which put Ed at ease. Hopefully after today, they'll figure out that he really does mean it when he says to copy notes. He might be on the lower part of the scale (ouch!), but he's had more experience than anyone out in the field. Ed knew that he knew what he was talking about...for the most part.

When the bell rang, Ed retreated to his living quarters. Dumbledore had installed an animated portrait door only two days ago, so Ed wasn't quite used to seeing Winry, Alphonse, Teacher, and Team Mustang on his door. Though some of it was quite cringe worthy (referring to seeing his superior officer on his door, smirking like the bastard he was), Ed missed their faces very much.

 _I'll be home soon, just hold on for another few months_.

* * *

When the day had finally ended, Ed threw himself onto the bed as fast as humanly possible. Hell, he was already tired and exhausted, and it was only five in the afternoon. After the first years left, the second years trickled in and almost killed Ed with the amount of questions they had. Most of them were given no answer, but they spent half the class period trying to pry something out of the kid. Man, they were annoying.

Then, he remembered General Mustang's letter to him. Ed shifted over on the bed to get the letter from his desk and read through the contents again. He had to verify that he didn't read the words wrong or anything, especially since it was written in his normal code language.

Ed grabbed a piece of paper from his desk as well, along with a pen. He scrawled out a report as fast as he could, which was a surprise considering how much he enjoyed procrastinating the hell out of the reports. However, Mustang had deemed it an urgent situation, and since he was technically on a "mission" now, he couldn't refuse his officer's orders for as long as he could have. Plus, Ed had no idea how long the owl would take just to get it back to him. Delaying anything could end up hurting him in the long run.

Ed made sure to include how his first month went here, along with how well his first day of teaching went. He complained to Mustang, of course, but he wasn't going to expect anything to change in his situation. Not when this is a documented mission for him anyways.

 _That bastard can go fuck himself over_ , Ed thought to himself. _Or Hawkeye, whichever he prefers a little more._

At the end of the letter, Ed requested for him to send Alphonse and Winry a message, saying that he is okay and does not need maintenance yet (for fuck's sake, he can manage his automail just fine without either of them nagging behind his back). Hopefully, he'll consent, seeing that he is taking care of Alphonse for him anyways and told him that his brother was recuperating nicely.

Afterwards, Ed tied the letter to the owl perched outside of his window and sent the owl to Amestris, wherever the hell Mustang might be at this time. He gazed at the outdoors for a minute, appreciating the nice serenity it held. It reminded him of Resembool and the better days of his childhood, even if it was only for a moment.

Today was the second of September, and Ed vowed to be prepared for the days to come.

* * *

 **Any shippers around? What's your ship, FMA or HP wise?**

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	11. in which there are ovals for circles

**First off, I just want to apologize profusely for not being able to update at the end of last month. I really am slacking with the updates (and we're getting to some good parts too). This chapter might seem a little boring and like the last one, but this is here purely for canonical purposes. Next chapter will be more interesting, I hope. If I deliver right. Someone make me a mailman.**

 **Alright I'll stop the puns, because I suck at them.**

 **Overall, I just want you guys to know that I'm not going to abandon this fic, and I hope you guys can keep tolerating my slow update schedule. Thank you for everything you've given me thus far, so here's a chapter to celebrate. Please don't forget to review at the end; they still make me genuinely happy to read.**

* * *

The first week of school had Edward almost blown away. It had been quite a long time since he had been to school himself, but this time, he wasn't going to school as a student. No, this time he was a professor of a subject that he at least was well versed in, but that didn't change the fact that he's never done anything like this before. Also, teaching alchemy to a bunch of brainless blockheads wasn't something in his qualifications.

Edward was currently sitting in his classroom, drumming on the desk with his fingertips. The Hogwarts library was closed because some dimwit had spilled a poisonous potion in there on accident, and the person who had to clean it up was dealing with another problem. Severus would have cleaned it up himself, but he was too busy shutting the poor kid down instead. Edward almost felt sorry for the kid. He would've gone somewhere else, but there wasn't really anywhere else to go except for his room.

"I'm bored, Al," he murmured. "There's nothing to do except sit here and hope to amuse myself by clapping and making nothing special or necessary."

The armor looked at him carefully. "Nii-san, what about all those books by the red cabinet?"

"Already read them and took my notes on them. Nothing particularly useful in terms of alchemy," Ed replied in a dull voice.

"Including the thick brown one over there?" Al asked.

Ed looked at him square in the eye. "What brown book? There wasn't one of those in the stack that I borrowed two days ago?"

Al pointed over to the book sitting on top of the cabinet. It was the book that Armstrong had left behind previously, and in Ed's hurry to put the classroom together decently, he had pushed it aside and not thought twice about it. Ed grabbed the book off of the cabinet and opened it up to the first page. Curiously, he read through the contents.

Needless to say, he was preoccupied for the next several hours, as he combed through some of Armstrong's notes on this parallel world and what his research has led him to.

* * *

The second week of school brought new work to the Alchemy classes. Now that a full seven days had gone by, most of the students had gotten their updated textbooks. Students like Hermione were combing through the pages, taking note of the differences between the old and new books. Mauro's was different in that it was more...enlightening and innovating, to say the least. The old one was scientifically outdated, and needed to be updated. Ed had no idea how Armstrong made it through the past year without an updated textbook.

Today's group of students were all in their third year of school, which meant that the worst that Ed's dealing with are Fred and George Weasley. While Ed would give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they were indeed gifted, their gift was more along the lines of jokery. Ed hesitated when he said that they might have an aptitude for the class. They might end up hurting themselves and people around them, after all.

Ed stood on his chair to address the class. "Today, we're going to learn about the fundamentals for transmutations. In short, we're talking about circles. To transform anything into anything, we draw circles, and perfect ones too. No need for your oval shaped or ragged messes, because those won't get us anywhere except for the hospital wing. So for the next thirty minutes, get with your partners. There's paper in front of everyone, and writing utensils as well. No need for parchment paper and quills today, class. This is just practice. Draw the best looking circle you can, and have your partner check it out. At the end, you may run the circles by me and see if you are ready for actual transmutations."

The class began chattering amongst themselves as they split up into their pairs. Ed jumped down from his standing position and retreated into his office. He predicted that it would take them the full thirty minutes, if not the rest of class. Before he could, however, a Ravenclaw waved her hand rapidly in the air.

"Yes, miss Sancho?"

"How do we know if it's perfect or not?" she asked.

Ed pointed to the meterstick sitting by the chalkboard. "The circle has to be the same size in all different directions. You may use the meterstick to help you determine if the circle is perfect or not. My eyes can tell if it's any good or not."

As soon as he said that, however, there was an immediate rush to be the first one to use the meterstick. Ed let them carry on, like the savage animals they sometimes were, and left them to their own devices. If they tried to kill themselves, Ed would know. Call it intuition. However, Ed was skeptical about the idea of them actually doing anything to harm themselves today.

Ed plopped down into his seat in his office. Realizing how stuffy and hot the room was getting, he opened up the window in his office. Looking down at the ground, he noticed the first year Gryffindors and Slytherins were finally getting their broom training this afternoon. The ratty bunch were clumsy with the broomsticks, and some of them looked like they'd blow away with the wind if they flew one. Madam Hooch certainly would have a blast.

He turned back around and looked at the essays in front of him. Ed had no motivation to actually grade them properly, like a decent professor would. However, they had been submitted last week as a homework assignment, and he supposed that the students were anxious for the results on their first essay with him. Ed had overheard several conversations about how harshly he'd grade the essays...but how would anyone know how mean he could be if he didn't even have a set grading rubric yet?

Ed glared at the essays again, and sighed. He skimmed through the first one, but bored himself out almost right away. He read through several others, but he never made it past the first three sentences. They were all repeats of what he had said in class, and even though that was practically the assignment, he figured they would have made it seem a million times more interesting that it actually came out to be.

In other words, his lectures were boring. Great. Fantastic. Thanks, essays.

Ed heated up the fireplace only to burn the essays a minute later. Using some water alchemy technique that he picked up on from a water alchemist in West City, he extinguished the fire after the parchment turned into ashes.

Just then, he heard some noise outside. Ed glanced out of the window, and noticed two people in the air, on their broomsticks. He blinked, trying to get a better idea of who exactly were on the broomsticks. On the ground, Madam Hooch seemed to be nowhere in sight, so either these kids were going to be in trouble, or they were going to be murdered in the next few moments. Looking back up, Ed could tell that one of the people on the broomsticks was Harry Potter, and he knew the consequences weren't going to be pretty at this rate. Now, who was the other kid...ah yes, Draco Malfoy, a brat who thought he was royalty. Even worse.

"Catch it if you can, then!" he heard Draco taunt. Ed saw him throw something, but didn't know exactly what was being thrown.

 _Stupid brats_ , he thought.

After a second went by, Harry swooped to catch the item. Ed sat back, deciding that he'd at least enjoy the show while it lasted, although the moves that Harry was making just to catch the damn thing wasn't exactly safe. But if he were to intervene, the outcome wouldn't be pretty if they both fell from this height. Harry made it back onto the ground in one piece, so Ed wasn't worrying about having to drag his broken body across the campus just to take him to the hospital wing. Draco eventually made his way back to the ground as well.

Then he heard someone shout his name, loud and clear. Ed gulped; Professor McGonagall had caught Harry in the act. He watched as she ran towards him, saying things as she pushed past students. She grabbed his wrist and dragged him back inside the school, all while he was carrying a broomstick in his hand. The item that was retrieved, he had already returned to its rightful owner, or at least that's what Ed believed. After all, Harry didn't seem like the type to steal, right?

After the amusement had gone by and Madam Hooch had returned to the class, Ed wandered out of his office to take a look at his students' progress. Some of them had indeed made progress on their circles, going from abysmal to somewhat decent circular shapes. They weren't perfect yet, but he liked how on track they were. Others had made little to no progress at all, using the time that Ed had set aside for them to mess around with their classmates. He could tell by the dripping ink and the smashed box of rat organs lying on the ground on the Ravenclaw side of the room.

"Clean up the mess now," he ordered them, and the Ravenclaws got to work right away. _And you guys were supposed to be the smart ones out of the bunch, eh?_ He spun around to look at the rest of his class. "And if you're not doing any work in the next two seconds, you're spending dinner time with me, doing your detention. Am I clear?"

Instantly, the entire class shut their mouths and doodled circles away on the pieces of paper. Ed smirked; perhaps this could be more entertaining than he thought it would be. Making people bend over in fear...but maybe he shouldn't dive too far down into that hellhole.

Starting with the Gryffindors, Ed gave little comments on his students' circles. Fred and George Weasley, the set of pranking twins in his class, were doing a decent job at their circles, though some resembled potatoes rather than spherical balls. Alicia Spinnet and her partner, Angelina Johnson, were drawing circles, but they were adding extra sticks and hair to create stick figures of people. While Ed liked the practical application, it wasn't Alchemy related, and he had to ask them to at least draw bigger, rounder circles than the facial shapes. Faces weren't always perfectly round in the first place.

Ed glanced at the clock after he made his way through the Hufflepuffs. Only Cedric Diggory had any hopes of being a decent circle drawer at this point, and Ed had already passed his assignment since his circle was almost flawlessly drawn. The circle had a little extension mark at the top, but he could dismiss that part, since it was erasable. However, the bell was going to ring soon for the next class, and the class needed to clean up the mess they made in his room. It looked like a storm had come through the classroom.

With a devious smile, Ed climbed up on the Weasley twins' desk without their permission - not that he needed it anyways. Careful not to step on anything with his elevator boots, he announced to the class, "Class is not over yet, but please pick up everything off the ground. You lot made a mess in the room, and it's time to clean it up." Groans were audible from everyone's mouths. "No complaints, no whines. I'll give or take points away, depending on what happens in the next minute." Rewards were always helpful in these types of situations, yes?

The response wasn't immediate this time around, but reluctantly, a good portion of the class began to pick up stray pieces of paper lying on the floor. Others picked up pencils that had been dropped on accident, and even more were obliterating the trash using magic. Ed found no reason to tell them not to use magic, and so he jumped down from the desk and watched the majority of the class clean.

"10 points from Slytherin for failure to clean up their area," Ed remarked as he passed by their section of the room. "Although, I will award miss Hurtz here a point for trying to clean up everyone's messes." Several students' jaws dropped, and Ed raised an eyebrow.

 _Your fault, not mine. I warned you earlier_.

Walking by the other three sections in the room, he noticed the cleanliness of everything and the organization of how everything went back. For that, he awarded the other Houses five points each. Things didn't have to be tidied back up and arranged neatly, but it was nice every now and then. Alphonse usually did this kind of shit every day, and nagged his brother to be more well kept while he was at it.

The thought of Alphonse and him recuperating in a hospital without him anywhere nearby made Ed homesick. He thought about asking Truth to let him go back to Amestris on some sort of vacation at least, but the menacing deity had told him the following:

"No can do, mister Alchemist. Finish your task here first, and then vacation later."

Needless to say, Ed wasn't thrilled about not seeing Alphonse anytime soon, and threw himself into the work at Hogwarts to distract him.

* * *

The rest of Ed's classes went about in an orderly fashion, and for the most part, they didn't include watching first year students fall off their broomsticks or throw things in the air. By now, there were several noteworthy students in Ed's classes that could handle drawing a decent circle, but it wasn't even close to half of the students.

Sighing, Ed wondered what he was going to do at this point. He could force the students that couldn't do the work to drop the class, but he supposed that the class was mandatory for everyone, and dropping Alchemy would prove to hurt a good portion of the school. Plus, Dumbledore wouldn't allow it.

Ed walked into the Great Hall, stomach growling for food. Lunch hadn't filled up his stomach nearly as much as he would have liked, so hopefully the food tonight would appease him. Strolling up the professors' table, he noticed the steak cut neatly on everyone's plates, along with the mashed potatoes and carrots on the side. The drink tonight was apple juice, which satisfied Ed. It wasn't milk, after all.

"Kuzumi- _sensei_ , did you hear the news?" Professor Flitwick asked him when he sat down.

The brows on Ed's forehead squeezed inward. "No. What happened?" He didn't take the Charms teacher as a gossip monger, but maybe he was wrong.

"Harry Potter's been named a Seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch team!" the tiny man squealed.

Ed was confused. "Quidditch?" he asked for clarification.

Professor Flitwick looked at the boy, dumbfounded by the fact that he didn't know what Quidditch was, but then he remembered that Edward was an Amestrian ambassador. Of _course_ he didn't know what Quidditch was. "Quidditch is the magical flying sport we play in the Wizarding World. Most popular kind of entertainment we offer, and it's no different here at Hogwarts. It's also somewhat dangerous, but we keep an eye on that aspect," he summed up.

Madam Hooch leaned up Professor Flitwick. "Maybe you should come spectate a practice before the matches begin!" she offered. Ed thought that she was offering up her position so that she wouldn't have to supervise some of these things.

He waved the offer away. "I'll pass. My schedule is loaded enough, thank you very much." Looking back at Flitwick now, Ed also inquired, "Is this an accomplishment or something around here?"

Professor Flitwick nodded. "First year students usually aren't allowed on the Quidditch teams or allowed their own brooms on campus. McGonagall had to bend some rules to even allow him on the team."

Edward's lips formed an o-shape to show that he understood. "Congratulations to the kid then. When do the matches begin? And who are they even against?"

"Each House has their own Quidditch team, so they compete amongst each other. It adds to the point totals too, which boosters the team morale and cheers," Professor Sprout butted in. "The matches begin around November, but I don't think Madam Hooch has set the dates yet."

"Nope," Madam Hooch replied. "I have tentative ones set up as of right now. Nothing's set in stone until next month."

"Fun," Ed said sarcastically, digging into the last piece of steak on his plate. "What are the dangers in the game?"

"You could get clobbered," Flitwick pointed out.

"Or fall off your broom and die. But Dumbledore won't allow that, plus we can just magick something out of nowhere to cushion the fall," Professor Sprout said.

"Helpful," Ed replied in the same sarcastic tone. He stood up from his seat, indicating that he was finished and about to retire for the night. "Thanks for the information. Make sure the kid doesn't go blowing himself up tomorrow too."

"Ha," Flitwick laughed, "Tell Wood that when you see him. He's the Gryffindor captain, after all."

Ed waved, but didn't look at them as he left the Great Hall. "Okay."

* * *

"Your recovery is progressing well, Alphonse," his doctor told the sixteen year old boy.

Alphonse was sitting up in his hospital bed. He had just completed his physical therapy for the day, and his doctor was giving him a prognosis. He figured at this rate, he could leave earlier than expected and do the rest of the recovery in the comforts of his dorm with his brother. A member from Team Mustang could look after him at the same time as well.

In short, Al was bored with sitting in the hospital with nothing to do all day except stare at a book that he's read countless times before. With the demeanor he has, however, he can't openly say it.

"Thank you, doctor," Alphonse replied. "You've taken such good care of me."

"Are your guardians here today? I'd like to talk to them?" the doctor asked.

Alphonse shook his head and told him that they were busy catching up on work and sleep. General Mustang and his team had gone on a mission earlier that week, saying something about a serial killer loose in Junston and they needed to sort out the problem before it got any worse. They had just returned last night, and Alphonse knew how tuckered out they were. Not only that, but the pile of paperwork had accumulated while they were jobs were tedious at times like these.

 _At least General Mustang can't blame Nii-san for this problem_ , Alphonse thought to himself, smiling at the same time.

"That's a shame. I'll call them later and talk to them over the phone then to explain your progress. Would you like anything to eat? You're probably starving here," the doctor asked.

Now that Al thought about it, he was sort of hungry. "Yes, I'd like some food please," he said politely.

The doctor nodded. "I'll have a nurse come by and bring you something to munch on. Anything else? Questions, concerns, comments?"

Alphonse shook his head. "No thank you."

The doctor bowed his head and bid his goodbyes to Alphonse for now. He closed the door behind him, and Al almost felt relieved. Sometimes the doctors asked too many questions, and they mostly made Alphonse feel more scared, as if he's not doing well.

 _But you are_ , his conscious reminded him, _and maybe you'll leave here soon. General Mustang knows how much you want to leave already._

Alphonse could only hope that he will bail him out soon enough.

* * *

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	12. in which Roy Mustang appears

**Hey look, I am able to update before the end of the month. Claps on the back to me! Nah, I've been working super hard lately on fanfiction rather than all the homework I have (bad me), but I've been able to churn out several chapters over the past couple weeks. To me, that is a huge accomplishment, but I'd like to thank my new story for giving me the drive to write. It helps tremendously. While we're talking about it, if you've seen Kuroko no Basuke, make sure to check out my oneshot and multichaptered work for it! I promise that they're decent.**

 **This is the long awaited chapter of mine that I finally got to write (eep!). I hope you all enjoy it, and don't forget to review at the end. I still squeal over your awesome reviews, so keep it up!**

* * *

The academic year was progressing decently, in Ed's opinion. It's been about a month since the year started, after all, and the students were definitely getting better at drawing circles. Most of them were now studying basic transmutation circles, ones that Ed and Al learned early on, and a few were actually doing the transmutations (under heavy supervision, of course).

Ed was teaching the first years the basic transmutation of creating pencils from wood. To the students, it was probably one of the more stupid and useless transmutations they will learn in the class, but to Ed, he believed that it will at least inspire them a little more. At the very least, it'll get them going a little more in the class. Hardly anyone in the class was motivated to do anything, save for Hermione Granger - then again, she was an insufferable know-it-all, something Ed liked about her.

"Copy the transmutation circle into your notes, please," Ed instructed his students, and the students followed the command. "Watch me draw the circle, step by step. It is crucial that you draw the circle in this order, or you risk messing up somewhere in the circle or missing a vital part of the circle. The consequences can be deadly if you screw it up, so don't mess around."

He drew the circle slowly, explaining the process step by step. The students found it awfully fascinating how the teacher could have such atrocious handwriting (several struggled to read sometimes), but could draw perfectly fine. Ed had to explain for one class how he was ambidextrous and prefers writing with his left hand since his right was no better.

"Is this clear for everyone?" Ed asked everyone once he finished the circle. Students glanced at their own circles in their notes and nodded. "Compare circles with each other. I'll walk by and make sure your circles are passable."

He watched Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, one of the pairs in the back part of the class, trade circles. Truth be told, Ed had been slacking off in his duties, so he figured this was a golden opportunity to keep an eye on the Potter kid, especially since he was in his class first thing in the morning.

After waltzing by several pairs and evaluating their circles with many comments to spare, Ed made his way to Harry and Ron. He noticed how several of the lines were crooked, and he pointed them out to the two boys, making sure that they understood that crooked lines can mean something else entirely.

At the same time, he noticed that neither of them were really paying attention to the lesson today. Ed did not desire to point out their inattentiveness either, but he took a careful note on that to pry some information out of them later. A cup of coffee and snacks would do the trick. Setting up the meeting would be harder.

Then, Ed had a genius idea. "If any student needs a remedial session of this and the past few lessons, my office will be open tonight to any student that is struggling significantly. I will assist you with your needs." Sure, it'll attract other unwanted kids, but Ed will give them help and set aside something for Harry and Ron.

Now, here's to hoping that they will come and not skive off the opportunity to get up close and personal with him.

Ed kicked his feet on top of his desk, reading up on one of the more infamous books in the library, _Hogwarts, A History_. It was a fascinating read which described most of the features of the school, and even a month into the term, he didn't quite feel acquainted yet. Now that students had finally stopped checking the book out, Ed could peruse the reference as much as he'd like.

It was a Friday evening, which meant classes were over for the week. Ed was cooped up in his office, while many of the students were in the hallways or dormitories, taking advantage of the time to socialize and do normal things a teenager would do. Ed didn't think there was much of a difference in that aspect from Amestris.

If things hadn't happened the way they did, would he and Alphonse be at home now, with friends? Other than Winry, of course. Ed didn't know.

There were a couple knocks on his door, and Ed almost jumped if he hadn't remembered that tonight was the night he invited students to his office. Ed got up to open the door, and sighed internally when he saw Harry and Ron outside his door with their books clutched in tow.

"Evening boys, what's up?" he asked.

Ron scratched his head. "We, er, have a few questions for you, Professor." Harry nodded at the statement, a little _too_ eagerly for Edward's liking.

Ed let out an external sigh. He had predicted that it would come to this when he arranged the meeting. Slowly he offered up his office for the two boys to come in and sit down. He figured there would be a long explanation. "Come inside and let's talk," he said.

Once the two boys took their seats, Edward ordered Al (quietly, so that the others couldn't hear) to be on guard and to not let other people listen in. Then he closed the door and sat back in his chair behind the desk.

Ron pointed a finger at him. "Why didn't you tell us you were a professor here?" he interrogated.

Edward crossed his arms across his chest. "There's no harm in not telling people that I teach, Weasley. Last time I checked, I didn't have to tell anyone that I am a professor of alchemy. Am I wrong?"

Harry coaxed Ron into calming down and being less accusative in his questions. "Professor Kuzumi, I think Ron is trying to say that he was very shocked that you teach here, considering your age and the fact that you were on the train ride to the school."

Ed had to pretend like he wasn't ticked off by the age remark. "I'll have you know that I am qualified to teach you lot Alchemy, and that I was asked by the old geezer to ride the train here to watch over students in case anything happened."

"And did anything happen?" Ron asked curiously.

Ed shook his head. "Nope," he said, popping the p.

"So it was pointless for you to be on the train!" Ron exclaimed.

Ed scoffed. "You sound thrilled. It's like you didn't want me on the train to begin with."

Ron shook his head. "That's not what I meant, Professor. I meant - "

Ed interrupted him. "I know what you meant, Weasley. Yes, it was pointless, since there wasn't anything wrong to begin with. However, I do have my orders. Now, was that the _only_ reason you swung by?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Harry replied firmly, "No. We came because we had questions about your, sir, and we heard rumors."

Ed almost facepalmed. He had forgotten about the rumors about himself travelling around the school, and he did not want to be in any part of it. "I guess I'll clear some of them up. Name away."

"How old are you really?" Harry asked directly. If Ed were any other person, he might have shivered at the sight of Harry.

Edward thought about it for a second. _Was it wise to tell them his exact age_? Nonetheless, he didn't find any cost or benefit to telling them how old he really was. "Seventeen," he finally answered. Ron and Harry let their jaws drop accordingly.

"S-seventeen?" Ron sputtered. "Holy hell, you're the same age as our seventh years!"

Ed smirked. "Yeah. It's really interesting teaching them, personally, since I'm their age. Although, they're still dumb even at that age."

Harry looked wide eyed at his Alchemy Professor. "Are you sure you're seventeen? How can you be allowed to teach at that age?"

Ed shrugged. "Made a deal with Dumbledore. Got a job. Hey, you can get hired too if you're skilled enough," he pointed out.

Ron grinned at Harry, but in a joking manner. "Sweet. Where can I get hired?"

"By your mother, I suppose," Harry replied straight faced. Edward had to stifle his chuckle from the boys. He had to admit it, it was funny.

Edward looked back at them. "Any other questions that I can answer?"

"Yeah," Ron said. Edward wondered if he ever ran out of questions before. "Why do you wear that?" he asked, gesturing to the red cloak hanging on the back of the chair. It was the same cloak he wore to the Sorting Ceremony on September 1.

"Because I like it," Edward replied. Ron made a gagging face, while Harry was laughing at Ron's reaction. "Is there a problem?" he asked.

"Yes, it's ugly!" Ron answered. "Don't you have normal clothes?"

Ed glared at him. "You mean what I'm wearing now?"

"No, that's not normal!" Ron gestured to his wizard robes. "This is normal!"

Edward scoffed. "The professors and I beg to differ. Anyways, what I wear and what I like to wear are none of your business, and you don't really have a say in what I wear. As long as my clothes are appropriate, I'm wearing my clothes. Now, _anything else_?" Seriously, he was becoming agitated by the second.

"No, Professor Kuzumi. Thank you for your time," Harry politely thanked Edward and dragged Ron out of the room before he could ask any other questions. Edward silently thanked him for doing him and his friend a service. To his dismay, however, Harry accidentally kept the door open.

After Alphonse had seen to their departure from the room, he walked over as much as he could to Edward. " _Nii-san_ , please try to feign some emotions."

Edward sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I'll try, Al. I'll try."

Much to Edward's irritation, Ron Weasley decided to spend much of the Alchemy class to discuss several more theories that either he or his pals in Gryffindor House came up with overnight. Edward was already in a sour mood, and Ron talking for the next forty minutes was not going to be pleasing, even if he had allowed the class to talk as they did their work.

"Weasley, where's your work?" he asked when he stopped by his table. Ron, surprised by his sudden appearance, frantically looked around for his notes. "I expect better from you. Do your work and do less gossiping."

Ron held his head dejectedly. "Yes, Professor."

Edward strolled on past to observe other groups. Today, they were reviewing transmutation circles with their peers before the quiz tomorrow. Some groups wanted Edward to perform their circles to ensure that they came out right, and if they didn't, they wanted to see what would happen. Edward, of course, was sketchy on the latter half, but was happy to transmute.

"When can we begin performing transmutations, Professor Kuzumi?" Hannah Abbott, a Hufflepuff, asked when he came by her table.

Edward pondered over the idea. "Soon, if you and your classmates behave well," he promised her. Hannah squealed and quickly got back on track with the assignment, eager to begin transmutations. Ed had to admit that she would become a decent alchemist.

He walked past the Hufflepuff table, checking on the Slytherins now. Draco Malfoy was goofing off and making fun of people, as the usual of him in Alchemy class. Edward, finding the entire scene ridiculous, ordered Malfoy to sit down and discuss Alchemy related things before he got himself into detention.

"But Professor, I was just talking about how Alchemy enhances every day movements," Malfoy interjected.

Edward cocked an eyebrow. "And for your information, Alchemy does not enhance movements. They cannot make you faster or smarter. That is a you problem, and you are the only one that can fix that problem."

"Wise words, Fullmetal," a baritone voice spoke out of nowhere. "Or should I say, Professor?"

Standing in the back of the room was General Roy Mustang, smirking as he leaned against the wall. One leg was crossed over the other. Just the sight of his face made Edward's blood boil. Edward shot him a nasty glare, but decided for the sake of everyone in the room, he'd keep his animosity towards his superior officer on the down low.

"Didn't you say you'd send a letter before you came here?" Edward asked him through clenched teeth. Honestly, being a decent person to the General was a lot harder than it needed to be.

"Aren't you glad to see me?" Mustang feigned innocence. "After all this time, you probably miss my face, right?"

Edward walked right up to him and stepped on his foot. "Who would miss you?" he asked.

Around him, people were noticing the immense height difference between Edward and his superior officer. Ed could hear the comments made, and he was getting irritated to the point where he was about to explode.

Edward scanned the room, and then pointed to the door. "Class dismissed for today. Go to lunch, and don't be noisy about it." When no one moved, he yelled, "Get out - _now_!"

Instantly, feet started shuffling towards the door. Edward watched his class leave the room quickly after seeing only a tiny fraction of his brain explode. Grabbing Mustang's arm, he dragged him upstairs to his office, where they could hold a private conversation that allowed for alchemical actions.

"Fullmetal, I didn't know you swung that way," Mustang continued to tease. Edward didn't forget to give him a kick to the stomach for that. "That hurt my ego."

"I sure hope it did," Edward bit back. "Anyways, what the hell was that, bastard? First you say to wait for a letter, next you waltz into my room and make fun of me for the next five minutes!"

Mustang shrugged. "It was entertaining," he responded lamely.

"Entertaining my ass! Now the next rumor will be about me and how s-s- "

"Short," Mustang finished for him.

Edward merely collapsed on the floor and laid there. "I - am - not - short," he huffed, feeling the level of his pride decrease dramatically.

"Whatever you say, Fullmetal," Mustang replied. He took a seat in one of the chairs. "But I am not only here as a source of entertainment, I hope you remember that. Your examination is due in a couple of days now, and I cannot lose a subordinate just because he's doing other things that is not in Amestris."

Edward waved it off. "I know, Mustang. Just hurry up and get the goddamn exam over with already."

"You're lucky the new Fuhrer is willing to sign you off on it as long as I make sure that you are still in tip top condition as a State Alchemist. Of course, that means I must reassess you sometime this week in order to get the paperwork rolling in," Mustang replied. Edward noted the calmness in his voice. He sounded relaxed.

Edward changed the topic. "How's Al?"

Mustang smiled. "He's doing fantastic, according to his doctors. He should be getting released very soon, in fact. They said his health improvement is exceeding their expectations, and they'd like him to get re acclimated to living in a reality away from sterilized environments."

"Are you going to take care of him while I'm here?" Edward asked. If he were in Amestris, he wouldn't dare ask Mustang to tend to him, but he wasn't in Amestris, and Al was certainly not crossing worlds to come here yet.

"Of course," Mustang answered. "Riza's a bit too attached to him now."

Edward detected the name change. He cocked an eyebrow. "Calling the Captain by her first name?" he smirked.

"We're engaged. Sorry that you're a little late to the news."

Edward shrugged. "Communication's different now. I'm going to be behind the latest news. Congratulations, old man. Make some babies soon."

Mustang chuckled. "I will, Fullmetal. They'll be taller than you too."

Edward leapt off the floor and hurled himself at Mustang. "I'm not short!" he yelled.

To his surprise, his commanding officer caught him by his sides. "Of course you're not," he teased. Edward kicked his legs to get down, but to no avail. "Whatever you say."

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